Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? (24/02/2024)
It is true that nowadays, parents always
make
Verb problem
put
pressure
for
their kids to become successful. Change preposition
on
This
essay will discuss the reasons behind this
phenomenon and then
examine some positive effects associated with it.
There are a number of factors resonsible
for. Chief among these is that, if mom or dad make Correct your spelling
responsible
theis
children feel Correct your spelling
their
pressure
, they will concentrate on their study
. Because their parents expect them to get high Fix the agreement mistake
studies
grade
in school Fix the agreement mistake
grades
so
they need to make an effort to achieve it. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, if a child was born and grew up in a well-educated family, he will get pressure
from their parents so he can make it better. But if compare
to the child who was born in a family that Wrong verb form
compared
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
low
education, he will get no Correct article usage
a low
pressure
so he do
not try his best to finish something. Another reason is that mum and dad make Change the verb form
does
pressure
in order to treat lazy children to help them gain oppoturnities
for their future. It can be seen that, at Correct your spelling
opportunities
this
ages
, almost Fix the agreement mistake
age
young
generation are not hard working so their guardians make some rules to help them better.
Correct article usage
the young
Making
Verb problem
Putting
pressure
for
youths can lead to some negative impacts. Perhaps one of these is that, if a student Change preposition
on
get
too much Change the verb form
gets
pressure
, it will lead to stress
. It is very bad because students
who get into stress
may have negative thoughts and they could do something stupid like suicidal
. Replace the word
suicide
For example
, in China, there are several situations Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
students
commited
suicide because Correct your spelling
committed
commit
of
their Change preposition
apply
family
forced them to get the highest scores. The second disadvantage is that Fix the agreement mistake
families
students
who have much stress
could be frustrated and do not have Correct article usage
the will-power
will-power
to study. As an illustration, in Vietnam, there are a lot of Correct your spelling
willpower
students
because of stress
that leads them to dropout
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
drop out
make
Verb problem
apply
pressure
for
Change preposition
on
students
can stem from many causes. Correct your spelling
Additionally
Addtitionally
, Correct your spelling
Additionally
this
phenomenon can bring about various positiveSubmitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task prompt, but some arguments lack development. Try to provide more detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the introduction and conclusion need strengthening. Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and that your conclusion clearly summarizes the main points mentioned in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and avoiding repetitive vocabulary. Using a range of sentence structures and diverse vocabulary will make your essay more engaging.
task response
Some parts of the essay are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Reviewing your grammar and sentence construction would help your ideas to come across more clearly.
task response
Your essay covers both aspects of the prompt and makes an attempt to address the reasons behind parental pressure and the effects on children.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of students in China facing pressure from their families.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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