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Band 6.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment
The comparison between the current layout and the proposed changes to a university’s
sports
centre
 is depicted in the two maps. In general, there are significant expansions planned for the
sports
centre
, extending towards the east and west.
This
 expansion aims to provide additional amenities, thereby diversifying the range of recreational activities available to users. Currently, upon entering the
sports
centre
 through the main entrance located in the south, visitors encounter a reception
area
 directly opposite. The central
area
 of the
centre
 features a 25-meter-long swimming
pool
, accompanied by a seating
area
 to the east and a changing room to the west. Adjacent to the
pool
area
 is a gymnasium, with outdoor courts situated on either side of the main building. Looking ahead, the proposed changes largely maintain the existing facilities, with notable alterations including the expansion of the gymnasium towards the east and the removal of outdoor courts. On the right side of the entrance, the redevelopment plan introduces the addition of a cafe and an additional changing room.
Further
 eastward, a
sports
 hall and two dance studios are slated for construction. In the opposite direction, a
sports
 shop is set to be established,
along with
 another adjacent changing room. A prominent feature of the revised layout is the introduction of a leisure
pool
, significantly larger than the existing indoor
pool
, demonstrating a concerted effort to enhance recreational offerings.
Submitted by truongthaian7446 on

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coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is mostly clear, but a small enhancement in paragraph transitions can make it smoother. Try connecting paragraphs better to improve flow.
task achievement
Your response accurately describes the proposed changes and maintains focus on the task. To achieve a higher score, attempt more complex sentence structures without losing clarity.
task achievement
Add a concise conclusion to your essay summarizing the changes and their potential impact to fully satisfy the criteria.
task achievement
You maintained a clear comparison between the current layout and the proposed changes, effectively showcasing the planned expansions.
task achievement
You supported your main points well with specific details about the new amenities to be added.
coherence cohesion
The central ideas in your essay were well-structured, making it comprehensible for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • redevelopment
  • expansion
  • modern amenities
  • recreational activities
  • cater
  • enhancement
  • aesthetics
  • accommodate
  • upgraded
  • welcoming
  • significantly expanded
  • current layout
  • future layout
  • gym enthusiasts
  • modernized
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