Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it's the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #tv #influences #behavior #say #amount #time #television

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Recently, television is becoming an important device that many

people

need to entertain so

people

think that what

children

see on the

affects their character,

while

others believe that it’s the number of hours watching television which influences their personality. Personally, I agree with the first point of view.

To begin

with, there are several reasons why many

people

say that the topic

that is

presented on

affects

children

. One of the first reasons is that

children

tend to imitate what captivates them on

Moreover

programmes will form

children’s

way of perspectives.

For instance

, there are many

children’s

programmes

such

as Disney movies about princesses' lives, which

children

emulate, and affect the

children

's spirits.

On the other hand

, many

people

believe that the amount of

time

watching

is the reason that influences their behaviour. The justification is that screen

time

has a correlation with a sedentary lifestyle, which has adverse effects on

children’s

character, making them vulnerable to mental problems

such

as anxiety, and depression.

However

children

do not need a long

time

to mimic something news like movies that are depicted on the television so

time

spent watching

does not have much effect on the

children

. In conclusion,

while

many

people

think that what

children

see on

is the reason that affects

children’s

personalities most, others believe that

time

spent watching

is the one. I am personally convinced with the first opinion.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task, which is excellent! To further improve your essay, consider adding more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but make sure to elaborate slightly more on each point for clarity. This will make your arguments even more convincing.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence. This can be achieved by using more linking words or phrases that connect your ideas seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are generally well-supported, but make sure to provide more detailed explanations or examples where possible.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your essay.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views as required by the task, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your writing generally flows well and maintains logical structure, which makes it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence behavior
imitate actions
programming
empathy
aggressive behavior
antisocial behavior
excessive television watching
physical development
contributing to obesity
impact academic performance
monitoring the content
setting reasonable time limits

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Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it's the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

Some people believe that all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.