Some people believe the aim of university eduction is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefis of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Thanks to the existence of the educational institution which has produced a number of useful alumni. Yet, the purposes of an educational institution are now distinguished into two aims. Some people believe that the aim of a university is to help alum gain a proper occupation. Meanwhile, others state that a university is more important to improving a person and community.

this

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essay will discuss both views and argue that the target of university education is to assist alum in finding an occupation.

To begin

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with, the target of taking a college is to help the graduates in gaining their necessary jobs.

Firstly

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, some office requires a specific degree for a specific position that the employer is hiring, which means the candidates of the employee are supposed to achieve a degree that suits the position which is being looked for.

Secondly

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, to step up the

level

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of positions in the company, an employee is expected to increase their

level

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of education, particularly those who have finished senior high school only. The higher the

level

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of education of employees, the higher the

level

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of position that they get.

However

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, finishing college is more beneficial to developing an individual and community.

This

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is because improving self-confidence is substantially crucial in lifting personal values.

As a result

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, the alumna is able to compete independently for higher job opportunities.

In addition

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, society around tends to have social issues which need to be taken care of properly.

Furthermore

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, the alumna is expected to generate solutions to the problems which appear in society.

This

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means the alumna have to contribute to the development of their surroundings, especially in their hometowns. In conclusion, whether it is for job necessity or to influence individuals and the community, people need to be aware of the importance of taking a college for people's lives in general.

Thus

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, pursuing an educational institution degree can be a considerable option to think about for the future.

patricius.yohanesWed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay offers a balanced view of both sides of the argument. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Try to elaborate on each point with concrete instances.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence, ensure that all paragraphs are directly related to and support your main thesis. Also, work on improving transitions between paragraphs and within your argument to make your essay flow more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well. This shows good organizational skills.

task achievement

You present clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay. Your main points are understandable and relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people believe the aim of university eduction is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefis of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that school education is not useful and the essence of study can be acquired at home. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?