Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern age, people always try their best to stay in shape in numerous methods. One is doing regular exercise which some individuals consider as a vital factor
while
the others believe that eating habits bring more benefits.
This
essay will indicate both statements and express my final thoughts
at the end
. On the one hand, exercise plays an essential role in a healthy lifestyle in many aspects.
Firstly
, it helps every part of the human
body
become active, strong and flexible. It is straightforward to realize that the human skeleton is not so strong and durable.
Therefore
, by letting all bones and joints always be active, citizens can maintain and enhance their shape. Generally, doing exercise not only stimulates every muscle and bone development but
also
makes our brain, respiratory and cardiovascular systems operate smoothly. Research conducted by Hai Phong Medical University shows that more than 80 per cent of individuals who worked out recently feel mentally relaxed and energetic after finishing a quick warm-up.
On the other hand
, choosing food and drink that support whole
body
building is necessary. The most common reason why a balanced diet is important is that careful choice for better meals provides numerous essential nutrients
such
as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fat, carbohydrates and protein. Without macronutrition, the human
body
will be exposed to broad vast diseases and the immunity system will be vulnerable.
For example
, my neighbour living beside my house does not absorb enough protein so it is once in a blue moon to see him in good condition.
Last
but not least, eating habit sometimes cures mental health. Having meals alone or
together with
family or friends is the best time for everyone to share the burden and relieve stress after hard work. A survey carried out by Viet Duc Hospital demonstrates that 73 per cent of patients recover mentally
as well as
physically quicker three times than normal thanks to having a good meal.
To conclude
, physical activities build an unbreakable skeleton for the human physique
while
a balanced diet provides macro and micro nutrition to support the mental system. From my viewpoint, everybody should combine both factors in a perfect way to maintain a healthy
body
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and includes your opinion, which is essential for a complete task response. However, make sure to further elaborate on your final opinion in the conclusion to make it more decisive.
task achievement
Clarify and refine your main points. Although you mentioned good examples, sometimes they seem slightly disconnected from the primary argument. Better integration of examples can improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly disrupt the flow. Reviewing these areas can improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is good for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with examples, making your arguments compelling and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: