IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in the fourth
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
industrial revolution, Health is an important part of every person. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that workout is a key factor in building sound
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others feel that having a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is more
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
.Two aforementioned views are discussed thoroughly in the following paraphrase before presenting in the conclusion. on the one hand, there are many reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that exercise is part of care. It is a way to burn excess fat and improve muscle.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, it can
also
Linking Words
 help relieve stress after tired working days and control calories.Most
people
Use synonyms
 go to
fitness
Add an article
the fitness
a fitness
show examples
 center,in which a few
people
Use synonyms
 can self -
hit
Verb problem
apply
show examples
but some
people
Use synonyms
 need guidance. If not have guidance for training, they can be injured during practice.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
conversely
Add a comma
conversely,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 is more necessary. It is vital to the immune system, a proper
diet
Use synonyms
 that
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
 in the
body
Use synonyms
.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
, The human
body
Use synonyms
 cannot select and eliminate toxic substances and harms themselves, so they have to arrange their own meals to be full of nutrition. in summary, most
people
Use synonyms
 recommend exercise is good for
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 improve
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 and immune system. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think fitness and
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 need have
connect
Change the verb form
connected
show examples
 together for
Correct article usage
a strongly
show examples
strongly
Change the adverb
strong
show examples
body
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating both views and providing a clearer thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow of the essay, and ensure ideas are connected logically.
task achievement
Spend more time developing your ideas with additional examples or explanations of key points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure consistent capitalization and correct punctuation usage throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both views, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The points made about exercise and diet are relevant to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: