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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?

#eco-tourism #ecosystems #concerns #impact #cultures #communities
In
Recent
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recent
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 times, more and more eco-tourism visits
the
Correct article usage
apply
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isolated areas and vulnerable habitats
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 rising worries about the influence on local cultures and native groups.
This
 essay will explain various issues related to
eco- tourism
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eco-tourism
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 and the number of potential solutions
in
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to
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 facing
this
 problem. Perhaps, the major factor from
this
 issue is that the entry of foreign culture will affect the fading of local cultural values in the communities. By not being balanced with strong attitudes and commitments to original
custom
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customs
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 can lose their identity and norms in society.
such
 as,
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 traditional wear and
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
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 the regional language. Another cause, the changes given by tourists are not always in accordance with the situation of an area. It can be said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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revolutions sometimes disrupt their mores.
For instance
, the Baduy tribe does not want to accept transformation from
outside
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the outside
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 because it is considered that it will damage the attitude of tradition absolutely for them.
Moreover
, ecotourism activities can undermine nature. Some of the guests who visit a destination not only enjoy nature spots but
also
ravaging
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ravage
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 the environment. Like smoking and littering. Turning to possible solutions, teaching about manners and
habit
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habits
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local
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of local
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 cultures to the young generation early.
Although
 modernization is a trend today, traditional culture can
also
 be created interestingly.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 celebrating a traditional festival every year and studying regional language in the school.
Furthermore
, giving
rule
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rules
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 regulates an area with customary law. The government can choose specific areas which may have more contrast than others. The
last
, making the regulation about ruination neighborhoods. The fine payment should improve awareness for visitors to keep nature well. In summary, the reasons
of
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for
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 raising fear about
traveler
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travelers
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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impact
local
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on local
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custom
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customs
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 are loss
original
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of original
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 identity including damaged environment can be solved by introducing local
habit
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habits
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 to
young
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the young
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 generation early.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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task response
The essay covers the key components of the prompt, identifying the problems caused by eco-tourism and proposing solutions. However, to enhance the Task Achievement score, you could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the solutions in greater detail.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical. Also, consider varying the sentence structure to improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
To make the essay more cohesive, consider using more transitional words and phrases to connect ideas. This will make the argument flow better from one point to the next.
task response
The essay clearly identifies the problems associated with eco-tourism and suggests possible solutions, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear beginning and ending point.
task response
Use of traditional and specific issues, such as the Baduy tribe, adds a level of depth and relevance to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fragile ecosystems
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • commodification
  • economic disparities
  • resource strain
  • community involvement
  • empowerment
  • sustainable practices
  • ecological footprint
  • responsible behavior
  • fair distribution
What to do next:
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