IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

#tasks #home #work #robots #development
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In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of tasks which is done by
robots
instead
 of humans.
This
 writer believes that
this
 phenomenon brings a positive development
due to
 saving
time
 and avoiding tiring or dangerous
work
. It is vital to understand that
robots
 can help
people
 to save a huge amount of
time
.
This
 is because these alternatives are able to replace workers working the factories, where citizens have to face repetitive and boring
work
. With the support from
robots
, they are able to complete their missions fast and secure productivity.
As a result
, residents have more
time
 to spend on their interests and other activities that they find useful. Take Japan as an example, thanks to applying
machines
 working in the factories, employers can produce more items but still ensure their quality. Another factor that needs to be considered is that these
machines
 protect
people
 from repetitive or even risky missions.
Due to
 doing one type of
work
 repetitively and continually, workers may suffer boredom and sometimes lose their motivation.
Moreover
, there are some cases
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
people
also
 end up with repetitive strain injuries, which have detrimental impacts on the human body.
Consequently
, their physical conditions might get worse and they may hardly get other jobs in the future.
Additionally
, there are some occupations that are dangerous to
people
,
such
 as firefighters and soldiers, which can be done by
robots
.
Therefore
, using these
machines
 to replace citizens in the factories and risk-taking positions needs to be in-depth. In brief, applying
robots
 to our daily routine and
work
 is a positive improvement because of saves
time
 and avoids risky jobs.
Hence
, governments should invest in AI and other automatic
machines
 to aid residents with their missions.

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task achievement
Try to refine your thesis statement for greater clarity. Instead of 'this writer believes,' state your position directly: e.g., 'This development is positive due to time-saving and safety benefits.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly links to the thesis statement. This will help your ideas flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs before reinforcing your thesis statement.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas, and each paragraph has a logical point.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, like the Japan example and the mention of firefighters and soldiers.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, and transitions such as 'Another factor' and 'As a result' help in maintaining coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Humanoid
  • Machine learning
  • Task allocation
  • Operational costs
  • Manual labor
  • Disruptive technology
  • Ergonomics
  • Unemployment
  • Cybersecurity
  • Technological singularity
  • Redundant workforce
  • Innovation
  • Ethical considerations
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