It is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, the idea that the elderly should continue working if they have a chance to do so is topical. In
this
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essay, I fully agree with
this
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notion because by working, they can reduce loneliness and continue to contribute their wisdom to their
Use synonyms
work places
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workplaces
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. On the one hand, retirement can be very isolating, leading to certain individuals living sedentary lives. By extending
work
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contracts after retirement, workers can continue to access their connections and friendships built over the years in their
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work places
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workplaces
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.
This
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,
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
, depends on them having developed good relationships at
work
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.
For instance
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, in many developed nations, which are typically known to be individualistic, some experienced workers tend to continue in their positions until they reach the age of 80;
such
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argue that, with limited familial connections, it is better for their social lives to continue working.
On the other hand
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, long-serving employees have the opportunity to continue contributing professionally to their organisations by extending their employment. In many cases, companies rely on them to mentor younger employees and teach them company values
due to
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their experience, wisdom and maturity. To exemplify the ongoing discussion, in Japan, it is said that companies proactively hire and keep people well into their old age because they believe
this
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helps with continuity. In conclusion, I fully agree with the view that it is a good idea for people to continue working in their old age if it is possible for them to do so;
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is
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apply
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can be beneficial for both themselves and their employers. They can continue to tap into professional networks in order to nourish their social lives,
as well as
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contribute their professional experiences to aid company growth.

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grammar
Fix small grammar errors such as 'ofcourse' and 'such argue' to 'of course' and 'some argue'.
coherence
Use clear link words to tie ideas well, and keep one main idea per paragraph to help flow.
content
Give more clear and strong examples to back each idea, for example on how work can help mood but also on health limits.
task
Clear position is shown in the intro and kept through the essay.
content
Idea that old workers can share knowledge is shown well.
coherence
Some real place examples are used, like Japan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive decline
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Social interaction
  • Financial stability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Self-worth
  • Physical health
  • Skill utilization
  • Experience
  • Flexible working hours
  • Generational gap
  • Elderly individuals
  • Retirement
  • Workplace
  • Economic contribution
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