Some people who are been in person become good citizens later, and it is of often agreed that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangerous of committing a crime. Extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a growing consensus that the best
people
to educate teenagers
about the dangers of commiting
a crimeCorrect your spelling
committing
,
are Remove the comma
apply
people
who are percieved
as good Correct your spelling
perceived
citizens
. This
essay will discuss yo
what extent it is significant having well-behaved Correct your spelling
to
citizens
have a pep talk with teenagers
about wrongdoings.
On the one hand, people
who believe that teenagers
should be taught about prohibited deeds often tend to believe that the optimal people
to lecture them are respected citizens
mainly because they represent what a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a teenager
teenagers
teenagers
could visualize themeselves
in the future. Correct your spelling
themselves
In other words
, most teenagers
are influenced by role models. For instance
, a study conducted by the university
of Toronto showed that Capitalize word
University
teenagers
are influenced by individuals who possess traits that are appreciated in the community when they warn about chain
of actions that eventually lead to being a culprit.
Add an article
the chain
a chain
Moreover
, young adults listen to those who have succedded
in their contributions to society. Correct your spelling
succeeded
Therefore
, many schools have succeeded in launching campaigns that promote against violance
acts. Another study Correct your spelling
violence
violent
thag
was conducted by Cardiff University revealed that many young individuals refrained from dangerous acts that most criminals are known for indulging in, after Correct your spelling
that
recieving
a series of lectures given by teachers.
In conclusion, the power held by good Correct your spelling
receiving
citizens
over young generations is best shown in their ability to inspire adloscents
to be good Correct your spelling
adolescents
citizens
. Since teenagers
look up to their teachers, role models and ideal citizens
in general, they will be more prone to act like them, especially when they teach them about evil deeds.Submitted by alamer_ma on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic effectively and provides a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points. However, it would benefit from a stronger, more precise thesis statement to clarify your position on the issue. Consider stating clearly whether you agree or disagree and to what extent.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but sometimes repetitive. Ensure each paragraph presents a unique point to avoid redundancy. Additionally, proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is mostly coherent. However, enhancing the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could improve the overall coherence. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Personal anecdotes, statistical data, or real-life examples will make your essay more convincing. For instance, mentioning specific programs or campaigns that good citizens led could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and remains focused on the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear opening to the discussion and a summarized ending.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good attempt to support your main points with examples, which enhances the credibility of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.