IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table gives information on consumer spending on various tools in five distinct areas in 2002.

The table gives information on consumer spending on various tools in five distinct areas in 2002.
The given table compares the spending on various tools in five distinct areas in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
spends
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 of consumers in
Turkey
Use synonyms
 was higher than the expenditure of people in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Italy. In all countries, residents spent
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 proportion of their budget on food, drinks and tobacco. In the country
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Turkey
Use synonyms
, the entire spending of buyers is higher, at 32.14% per year, compared with 16.36% and 15.77% for people in land of Italy and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 respectively. Clothing and footwear
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
show examples
 for 6.63% total expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 costumes in the country
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Turkey
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the amount
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 lower for consumers in nation of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 at 5.40% and Italy
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 9.00%.
However
Linking Words
, in terms of leisure
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and education
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Turkey
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 spend the largest percentage of their money on it, accounting for 4.35% and 6.51%. The figures for countries Italy and Spain are spent on clothing and footwear only 9.00% and 6.51% respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, consumers in the
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 of Ireland and Spain played out 28.91% and 18.80% ,
while
Linking Words
 people in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Italy spent only 15.77% and 16.36%

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words turkey, sweden with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: