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Band 7.5

Nowadays, people want things instantly (goods, service, news). Why is this? Is this development positive or negative?

#people #goods #service #news #development
One of the most notable issues nowadays is that the desire for instant gratification has become increasingly prevalent in our modern society.
This
 essay will examine the reason behind
this
 trend
as well as
 evaluate whether it presents a positive or negative
development
. One significant factor that many
people
 require the instance result is the
development
 of
technology
. The public can access information more easily, which that convenience and efficiency allow us to save more time to do more valuable things.
For instance
, thanks to the delivery, we do not need to go out to buy food.
Instead
 , we can stay at home and buy food online through a food app on the phone.
besides
,
technology
development
 lets us bridge the gap between
people
as well as
 keep in touch with each other. Another reason for
this
 trend is that because of their busy schedule, most
people
 do not want to wait for a long time, they tend to find ways to get everything done quickly and efficiently without any delay. From my perspective, the trend towards instant gratification has mostly negative outcomes.
firstly
, it can lead to a sense of impatience and unrealistic expectations,
as well as
 a decreased tolerance for delayed results.
Besides
, many
people
 expect the results given to them, so they become dependent on
technology
 and more lazy in working.
Therefore
, it is a lack of thoroughness in tasks and decision-making.
Consequently
,
this
 can be detrimental to personal growth and
development
,
as well as
 to society as a whole. By prioritizing instant outcomes, many
people
 may be discouraged from enduring challenges and setbacks, hindering their
overall
 progress. In conclusion, there are two main reasons why
people
 want everything faster and a number of disadvantages when
people
 depend on
technology
development
 too much.

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Task Response
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and that ideas are elaborated on with specific examples. While the essay touches upon reasons and consequences, deeper analysis and more varied examples could strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking ideas more clearly using a range of cohesive devices. This will make the argument flow more naturally from one point to the next.
Task Response
Consider exploring both positive and negative aspects more evenly to provide a more balanced view on the topic.
Introduction/Conclusion Presence
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame the essay, providing a strong basis for the discussion.
Supported Main Points
The use of technology as an example effectively supports the main point about people's desire for instant gratification.
Logical Structure
Logical structure is maintained throughout, which aids in understanding the essay's main arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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