IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area in Briatin. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area in Briatin. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
#information #police #budget #area #briatin #money #show
The
table
 and charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 information about
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the police income between 2017 and 2018 in one zone in Britain .
Howvere
Correct your spelling
However
, the
table
is illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 how the money came
while
Change preposition
in while
show examples
 the charts
provided
Verb problem
show
show examples
 how it was distributed.
Overall
.the
table
 compares
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three sources
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
namely
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government , local taxes and
other source
Change the wording
another source
other sources
show examples
 in the years 2017 and 2018 .
Whereas
 the pie charts depict three categories
in addition
how
Change preposition
to how
show examples
 the money was spent . First of all , police budgets in the
table
 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 increased numbers of national government from 2017 and 2018
moreover
 local taxes in 2017
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 91.2 million pounds
while
 in
2018s
Correct your spelling
2018
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 102.3 million pounds. In the
last
source
Add a comma
source,
show examples
 there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward
slowly
Change the word
slow
show examples
.
On the other hand
 . The budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 building and transport was the same
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cent from 2017 and 2018
.in
Correct your spelling
On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
 the
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of technology
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 double in 2018 . The highest proportion of salaries in the year 2017
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
three quarters
whereas
 in 2018
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
 for 69 %.
Submitted by sialamer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: