Some people think the recent increasing cheap air travel brings benefits, while other people think it has drawbacks to the environment involves resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Air
travel
recently becomes
Wrong verb form
become
more cheap
and Replace the words
cheaper
thus
Correct article usage
the numbers
numbers
of travels Fix the agreement mistake
number
is
increasing. Change the verb form
are
This
could be beneficial but may also
have some hazards. As regards the benefits, the expanding cheap air
travel
makes travelling more easy and available. We should keep in mind the possible side effects to the environment
as these cheap air
travels may affect the environment
badly by poor quality fuel.
Available cheap air
travel
is now considered a good option in
Change preposition
by
air
travel
agencies. For example
, it attracts many of
clients and makes Change preposition
apply
air
travel
more money saving
. Add a hyphen
money-saving
This
makes cheap air
travel
a demand by many clients in agencies and agencies begin to expand in cheap air
travelling to increase their income. As a result
, cheap air
travel
becomes a benefit in
them.
Change preposition
for
On the other hand
, cheap air
travel
may affect the environment
in a bad way. For instance
, the bad quality material of cheap planes could be harmful to the environment
on
the long run. Vividly, Change preposition
in
this
is a responsibility of the government to take care of. So, We could make use of cheap air
travel
but not on
the expense of Change preposition
at
environment
pollution.
In conclusion, cheap Replace the word
environmental
air
travel
makes travelling much frequent
and less problematic regarding availability and prizes. Correct quantifier usage
more frequent
However
, the effect on the environment
by the harmful fuel and waste products could be serious on
Change preposition
in
long
term. Add an article
the long
a long
Thus
,it should not be widely increased, but it could be limited
option with good monitoring. In my opinion, it is the Add an article
a limited
ususal cinflict
between Correct your spelling
usual conflict
Replace the word
environmental
environment
Replace the word
environmental
Correct your spelling
resources
resourses
saving and personal benefits which Correct your spelling
resources
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
a
wise management to balance between both.Remove the article
apply
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and covers both views, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to outline your opinion more explicitly from the beginning.
task achievement
Work on providing more relevant and detailed examples. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraphs are well connected. Consider using more transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and make your points more concise. This will make your argument more focused and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay discusses both benefits and drawbacks, showing an effort to cover the topic comprehensively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?