Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary times, one school of thought holds that being elderly is harmful development,

whereas

others assert that it helps their lives be more comfortable.

This

essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why an increase in age could negatively affect each inhabitant. First and foremost, it could lead the elderly to lose their financial independence.

This

is because they might no longer be able to adapt to the requirements of a job, particularly manual labour jobs, which could lower their salaries or even be fired.

Furthermore

, old citizens might become a burden to their families.

For example

, they are at high risk of having serious health problems

such

as heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

or cancer in the worst scenario.

As a result

, their children and offspring have to work overtime to pay treatment expenses

as well as

struggle more to make ends meet.

On the other hand

, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that becoming the aged has several profound merits. One rationale is that they might have numerous lived experiences. Because of

this

, they could quickly handle the issues that happened in their families or workplaces, thereby protecting them from depression, anxiety, and nervousness. Another justification is that aged individuals could have a stable life. To be more specific, they cannot easily pay their living costs

such

as accommodation, food, and bills, but

also

have a budget for their hobbies, which allows them to completely enjoy their lives

as well as

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

a bright future to their children. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that old age could adverse impact on the number of citizens, I would contend that it could have underestimated advantages.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures more to make your writing engaging. While the essay is well-structured, incorporating a wider range of complex sentences can enhance clarity and reader engagement.

task achievement

While providing examples, strive to link them more explicitly to the point you're making. This will ensure your argument is clearly understood and makes it easier for the reader to follow your reasoning.

task achievement

Consider using fewer generalizations about 'the elderly'. Instead, present a wider range of specific scenarios or personal examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more relatable and persuasive.

task achievement

The essay effectively introduces both views and asserts your own position, providing a clear structure for your discussion.

coherence cohesion

You demonstrate a good use of transitional phrases, like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which aids in creating a logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

Your conclusion succinctly encapsulates your opinion, effectively summarizing the preceding discussion in a way that feels resolved and thoughtful.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fertility
Maternal health
Psychological stability
Social maturity
Economic benefits
Shared responsibilities
Ancestral customs
Cultural imperatives
Personal development
Career establishment
Societal norms
Lifestyle choices
Divorce rates
Life decisions
Subjective wellbeing

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Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both point of views and give your opinion

Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school .other , however , say that cooepration and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do You do NOT need to write any addresses.