Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Currently, the number of patients opting for various treatments
instead
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of hospital visits is on the rise.
This
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trend can be viewed as both a negative and positive shift in society. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the use of alternative medical methods and share my opinion on the direction
this
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development is taking. The primary reason people are turning to different types of medical procedures is cost.
For instance
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, individuals from middle and lower-income backgrounds often cannot afford basic treatments.
Additionally
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, in many Asian countries, there is a corruption system within hospitals, leading to a shortage of specialists in local clinics and a low standard of service for patients. These issues within a country's healthcare infrastructure push citizens to seek alternative, sometimes dubious, medical sources
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as traditional or religious remedies
due to
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their affordability.
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, I believe that relying on non-professional methods of therapy could worsen
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problems. Utilizing various treatment sources can lead to more complications.
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, traditional medicine in Central Asia is popular, with many people preferring these methods over visiting clinics. Unfortunately, in many cases, short-term cures can result in long-term
health
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issues. Even though the population in these areas is aware of the drawbacks, their economic circumstances often compel them to use these alternatives. To summarize, the increasing number of individuals facing
health
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issues are turning to various alternative cures
instead
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of visiting local hospitals. I believe
this
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trend represents a negative development in the medical industry, as these alternatives may lead to larger
health
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problems. If corruption in the healthcare sector diminishes and the government implements reforms to enhance the quality of medical services,
this
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issue could be resolved.

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task achievement
While you provided a clear opinion, make sure to clearly state your stance in the introduction, preferably in the thesis statement. This will help solidify your argument for the reader.
task achievement
Consider enriching your argument further by integrating more specific examples and evidence to support your claims about alternative medicines, which will strengthen your argument and provide a clearer view of the issue at hand.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, possibly by summarizing the previous point before introducing a new one. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Expand more on the conclusion by summarizing the key points you discussed and reinforcing your opinion, making it more impactful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and neat introduction and conclusion that frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You tackled both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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