Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Governments have a growing interest in
art
today.
However
, some people who do not share
this
passion claim that
money
spent on
art
is a waste of revenue.
While
others think highly of
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
and appreciate investing in it.
This
essay will explain each point of view, and explain why I am inclined to agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, many people think that
money
rather be spent
elsewhere
than
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
arts,
this
notion is mostly driven by social, cultural, societal, and geographical
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
.
In other words
, some cultures do not consider
a
Correct pronoun usage
it a
show examples
significant part of people’s lives.
However
, some statesmen would disagree, as they believe that
art
will differentiate them from other countries.
For instance
, a study conducted by Toronto University showed that the public
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more interested in developing the health sector, or growing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
On the other hand
, others think that
art
is more spiritual, and meaningful than people might perceive.
Therefore
,
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
spending on it is crucial for the cognitive ability to enhance the comradery sense in societies.
Moreover
, I believe that
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of knowledge on how
money
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
on
art
is a great source of income, as it can provide
a tremendous benefits
Correct the article-noun agreement
tremendous benefits
a tremendous benefit
show examples
; not only to an individual, but
also
to
enriching
Wrong verb form
enrich
show examples
cultural diversity.
For instance
, being known as a country of
art
will potentially attract all
art
lovers to visit and witness a new form of
art
,
hence
it could be one of the most significant reasons for
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
to thrive, which in turn leads to increasing assets. In conclusion, investing in all
art
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
is another way of
recycled
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
money
, as it is mostly gonna come back in another form like
tourisim
Correct your spelling
tourism
. For governments to be interested in
art
is crucial for enriching
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
income.
Submitted by alamer_ma on

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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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introduction conclusion present
Good introduction that sets the context and states the writer’s stance clearly.
introduction conclusion present
Effective conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the author's viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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