IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Now, many scientific institutes conduct research on live animals. Some people regard it as cruel and unnecessary while others believe it is justified in the interest of human welfare. Discuss the two views and give your reasons. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#institutes #conduct #research #animals #people #interest #welfare #two
In
this
 modern world, many researchers have conducted many experiments and research on live
animals
. Despite the positive result, many
people
 think that
this
action
 is reckless.
Hence
, in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and present my opinion in
this
 case. Nowadays, researchers have used
animals
such
 as monkeys, rats, and rabbits for test subjects in an experiment for medicine side effects.
This
action
 was done to ensure that the result obtained is valid and safe for humans.
Furthermore
, using
animals
 for experimental subjects is to measure
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 effects that may be dangerous if not handled carefully.
Moreover
, inventing new
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
 and testing allergic
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 needs to be done
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
 as it may be too risky for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and may even result in death.
However
, for some
people
, conducting research
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 inappropriate. These
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that even though the experiment is done to create a positive impact for mankind,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is still an act of cruelty for
animals
 as
animals
 are living
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
 too.
Hence
,
animals
 do not deserve
this
 kind of
action
 and
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be treated equally as humans do.
To conclude
, even though some
people
 think that using
animals
 for
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
 is wrong, I personally feel that
this
action
 needs to be done to ensure
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
 and the protection of human welfare.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
To improve the Task Achievement, include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mention actual studies or widely known experiments involving animals.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develop it thoroughly. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more coherent.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay, which makes it easy for the reader to understand the forthcoming discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints, showing a balanced approach which is essential for drawing a well-rounded conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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