some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while other argue that people have the responbility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a common thought that the sheer scope of packaging production should be limited in both manufacturers and shopping malls,
whereas
the consumers
have the responsibility
to get the less packaging products
. This
writer will present the reasons for agreement on the consumer responsibility
to buy fewer packaging items after the discussion in two views.
On one hand, the limitation of selling fewer packaged products
in manufacturers and shopping malls can have a damaging impact on the quality of the products
. In fact, having ensured the items that
are not damaged during the transportation period Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
some unpredictable subjects like disasters or accidents , the manufacturers have to package the objects carefully. A case in point is that glasses or clay products
should be covered carefully in order to avoid some broken pieces. It can also
be observed that the products
with the close-knit appearance can create many weaknesses for customers in checking the items before giving money which can lead to some bad impressions about that companies or brands.
On the other hand
, this
phenomenon should be considered by the customer responsibility
. To be blunt, consumers
can choose to buy products
with less
packaging coverings. Correct quantifier usage
fewer
For example
, there is an appearance of services that can decorate or package the products
following the needs of consumers
. Additionally
, the residents can bring their own customs as they just need to buy the products
.
I partly agree with the view that focus on resident responsibility
follows the beneficial value of giving consumers
complete their own choices creatively.
In conclusion, this
topic collects various spaces with significant values and needs to be discussed on both sides before giving a final decision.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses both views of the topic but can benefit from clearer organization. In the body paragraphs, try to separate the discussion of each view more explicitly before presenting your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay can be more coherent by using smoother transitions between ideas and sentences. This will help improve the flow of information and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported with relevant examples and effectively explained. The example provided is good, but adding more specific and varied examples can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your conclusion can be more definitive. Summarize the discussed points and clearly state your stance. This will leave a stronger impression on the reader.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and made an effort to address both views comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your writing shows a reasonable structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You used a relevant example (glass or clay products) to support your point, which adds value to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.