IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both your opinion.

Owing to technological development, the world is becoming smaller and smaller day by day. It leads to
globalization
Use synonyms
 throughout the earth. Even though, there are pros and cons to globalizing
countries
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, in my point of view
advantages
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 far outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, there are several benefits to
globalization
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.
Firstly
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, developed
countries
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 can send their production to poorer
countries
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 to make low final prices.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of famous car companies
such
Linking Words
 as Toyota, outsource the whole car manufacturing or some parts of the car to other
countries
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. Apart from the customers, who can find goods at cheaper prices, a great deal of job opportunities are created in poorer
countries
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.
Secondly
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, people migrate from their
countries
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 to find better education and income, which helps reduce the unemployment rate.
Finally
Linking Words
, through
globalization
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, crises like disease, and other international problems can be solved easily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though
globalization
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 has a lot of
advantages
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, some disadvantages cannot be overcome.
Globalization
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 forces
countries
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 to speak and write in one language, as an illustration, language is the most important thing to separate
countries
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 from one another. But some kids are starting to learn English more than their national language.
For example
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, fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of my classmates communicate only in English. That leads to a loss of cultural identity. To point out
globalization
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 has both disadvantages and
advantages
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, but the
advantages
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 surpass the drawbacks.

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introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic well but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement articulating your opinion more explicitly.
logical structure
Structure the body paragraphs with clear topic sentences for improved logical flow.
relevant specific examples
Further elaborate on examples by providing more specific details or statistics.
complete response
Expand on the discussion of disadvantages for a more comprehensive exploration of perspectives.
relevant specific examples
The essay effectively uses relevant examples, such as the reference to car companies outsourcing work, to support points.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay nicely.
logical structure
The major advantages and disadvantages are well-organized within their respective paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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