Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?
Many physical stores have gone bankrupt in recent years.
This
essay will explain in detail which factors can make it happen as well as
put forward the proposition that the negative impacts of this
are far outweighed by its positives.
First and foremost, the appearance of shopping malls
is a significant reason why street
shops
have disappeared. This
is because the goods and quality in the shopping malls
is better than street
shops
. In contrast
,customers can have the risks of theft and robbery when shopping at the high street
shops
. Additionally
, the younger generation mostly prefers to purchase online shops
. They can surf the internet to choose the product they want at home. Online shopping has become more and more popular from 2019 to the present day.
Personally speaking, shopping online or in shopping malls
has both positive and negative effects. In terms of advantages, it is more comfortable and secure, whereas
they can have it in a physical store. Furthermore
, due to
buying online, there is a solution for many people who have to pay
a wide range of time Verb problem
spend
to
their Change preposition
at
job
, Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
who
can’t leave their house or company. Moving into the detrimental impacts that it has had on customers and the governing authorities.if there are no high Correct word choice
and who
street
shops
, there will be no opponent for shopping centres or online shopping to compete and consequently
, they can increase the prices.
To recapitulate, even though it is undeniable that the progression of both malls
and online shopping could lead to a number of positive effects. I strongly believe the trend of vanishing these shops
is a harmful development.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a clear position on the issue. However, some of the arguments lack detailed support. Consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally clear, but there are moments where the flow between ideas could be improved. Focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'there is a solution for many people who have to pay a wide range of time to their job' is unclear and should be rephrased for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay well by clearly stating both the issue and your position on it.
task achievement
You've identified relevant factors that contribute to the decline of high street shops, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, providing a coherent end to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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