Globalization has connected societies, but it has also raised concerns about cultural homogenization. Discuss the impacts of globalization on cultural identity and ways to preserve cultural diversity in a globalized
Nowadays,
globalization
dominates many aspects Use synonyms
in
citizens’s Change preposition
of
life
widely, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
while
it brings a significant worry about cultural homogeneity in the world. There are some effects and solutions to Linking Words
this
issue which I will explain here.
One of the Linking Words
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
from
Change preposition
of
this
issue is that Linking Words
globalization
can erase a local character.
It is because Interaction from many communities Use synonyms
become
more intense because easy information access from outside can enter without being fully filtered. Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
For instance
, fashion Linking Words
trends
from Korea influence the fashion Use synonyms
mode
Correct your spelling
model
trends
in the world. These Use synonyms
trends
are very popular in many generations. As a consequence, traditional clothes are not considered as interesting as Korean Use synonyms
trends
. Use synonyms
In addition
, universal culture cultural can changeLinking Words
lifestyle
to become more consumptive. The rapid Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
globalization
forces a nation to follow industry development. It is because more and more people have high living costs Use synonyms
such
as buying Linking Words
smart phones
every season, changing electronics regularly and adding new vehicles.
Correct your spelling
smartphones
On the other hand
, collaborating with brands that dominate global Linking Words
trends
by local brands is one of the efforts. Giving the opportunity to show their creativity is an important role Use synonyms
to maintain
local culture.
Change preposition
in maintaining
For example
, Linking Words
last
year, the Solo Linking Words
goverment
held an international batik event in Paris by hiring international artists to be able to expose Indonesian works to the world. Correct your spelling
government
As a result
, many artists and societies know well one of Indonesian traditional clothes. Linking Words
Finally
, limiting global Linking Words
trends
can decrease the expenditure of citizens. Using the goods as necessary is the best way to solve it. Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
instance
we should not replace mobile phones every year.
In conclusion, the consequence of increasingly rapid Add a comma
instance,
globalization
is to eliminate local culture including spending high living costs Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
trends
. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, These can be solved by Linking Words
collaboration
on local products with global brands and limiting the budget limiting of living Replace the word
collaborating
cost
.Fix the agreement mistake
costs
Submitted by k a l l a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the impacts of globalization on cultural identity and ways to preserve cultural diversity. However, it sometimes lacks clarity due to minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. Work on improving sentence structure and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you could improve the cohesion by using more varied transition words and phrases. Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the preceding one.
task achievement
The points you make are relevant and supported by examples. To strengthen your arguments, try to integrate more detailed examples and elaborate on how they specifically relate to the points being made.
task achievement
You identify and explain multiple impacts of globalization on cultural identity, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, including a clear introduction and conclusion, helps in understanding the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the international batik event in Paris, effectively illustrate your points and add depth to your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.