Rich people are getting richer, and poor people are getting poorer. The gap between rich and poor people is widening. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

In
this
intensively competitive world, rich
people
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
a
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
greater chance to get richer than poor individuals. The main causes of
this
phenomenon
incorporates
Change the verb form
incorporate
show examples
various factors
such
as
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
chance of getting
a well-paid
Correct the article-noun agreement
a well-paid job opportunity
well-paid job opportunities
show examples
job
opportunities by rich
people
, which leads to
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
grand amounts of money. In the next
sentences
Add a comma
sentences,
show examples
the causes will be elaborated precisely. Generally, by getting a sustainable
high salary
Add a hyphen
high-salary
show examples
job
,
people
could earn substantial amounts of money.
Therefore
,
applied
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a well-paid
job
relies on complex factors including a higher educational degree and suitability of these positions for
city’s
Correct article usage
the city’s
show examples
residents.
Firstly
,
top tier
Add a hyphen
top-tier
show examples
companies mainly tend to hire
high-educated
Correct your spelling
highly educated
show examples
employees.
In addition
, commonly top ranked
univeristies
Correct your spelling
universities
provide
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of courses. Enrolling in these courses almost
are costing
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
an arm and a leg.
For instance
, most of these universities
Add a missing verb
are setteld
show examples
setteld
Correct your spelling
settled
in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
centre, where most of the high-tech enterprises that produce cutting-edge
merchendises
Correct your spelling
merchandises
merchandise
are laid in. Not only can the university tuition fees be paid by poor families, but
also
they can not afford the
runing
Correct your spelling
running
cost of residing, so they mostly inhabit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the outskirts.
Consequentely
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, a
job
-seeker from an
economical
Change the adjective
economically
show examples
vulnerable
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
of
people
has
Verb problem
does
show examples
not a huge chance to apply for a well-paid
job
due to
Correct article usage
the unavailabilty
show examples
unavailabilty
Correct your spelling
unavailability
availability
of positions in the inner-city,
also
they can not afford to apply for
a top-ranked universities
Correct the article-noun agreement
top-ranked universities
a top-ranked university
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
massive costs and transportation barriers. To tackle
this
viscious
Correct your spelling
vicious
circle, governments should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education equality and creating
job
opportunities on the outskirts of the
metropiltans
Correct your spelling
metropolitans
metropolitan
. Take Harvard University as an example, which provides some helpful monetary resources for
vulnerable-endeavored
Change the spelling
vulnerable-endeavoured
show examples
students
such
as
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
for students who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater
potentials
Correct the article-noun agreement
potential
show examples
.
Whats
Correct your spelling
What's
show examples
more,
re-establish
Correct your spelling
re-establishing
show examples
factories and companies on the outskirts may accelerate the
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
struggle and
job
availablity
Correct your spelling
availability
for workers.
To conclude
,
due to
various helpful strategies, which have been conducted by elite
people
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress has already
was
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
observed.
Although
,
this
vicious circle probably will
be remain
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
in the near
futures
Fix the agreement mistake
future
show examples
.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, as they help in illustrating your arguments better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing to improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you include a more comprehensive conclusion to effectively summarize your main points and arguments.
task achievement
The essay identifies key factors such as education and job availability that contribute to the widening gap between rich and poor people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear progression of ideas from causes to solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The language used is varied, and there is a good attempt to use complex sentence structures.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: