IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

14. You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, * explain what you like about the cafeteria * say what is wrong with it * suggest how it could be improved

#college #cafeteria #lunchtime #improvements #magazine
Dear Sir or Madam, I’m writing to bring to your attention the cleanliness of the cafeteria. I am a student of biotechnology and your regular customer as well. I prefer having lunch in the college cafe because the
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
 is captivating. The soft lights and no smoking policy attract me the most.
On the other hand
, cleanliness and hygiene should be improved. The reason behind
this
 is servants are not wearing gloves
while
 carrying food, and the dustbins don’t have any lids to cover them.
consequently
, I have noticed flies over the garbage several times. I am a very health-conscious person and can’t compromise with it. So, it is my humble request to you to follow all the precautions or else it can be hazardous to health and can make people ill. I already spoke to your staff about it, but nothing has been changed. Hoping for your prompt action, Yours faithfully, XYZ
Submitted by pateldhruvi038 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph covers a single idea clearly; this structure makes the letter easier to read.
task achievement
While the main points are covered, including some specific examples or suggestions could make the letter more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and formal, which matches the context of the letter.
task achievement
The letter addresses the main points: what is liked, what is wrong, and suggestions for improvement, meeting the task requirements.

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