IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic: Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out.  In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #english #school #languages #risk
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English
 is a gateway to the world and no one should be deprived of the opportunities that arise for those with a strong command of the
English
 language.
This
 does not mean that local
languages
 are dispensable,
however
. They have an important role to play in supporting education, including
English
 language education.
People
 who insist on prioritising local
languages
 are often those who can speak fluent
English
 themselves. Advocates of minority
languages
 need to be fluent in
English
 in order to research their field and support the cause at international conferences. In doing so,
however
, they are
also
 demonstrating why
English
 is so important. Learning
English
 allows
people
 to gain knowledge, communicate with society,
further
 themselves as individuals and have a global impact. It is unfair to willingly dispossess
people
 of
this
 ability in order to preserve tradition.
However
,
this
 does not mean local
languages
 can be forgotten or downplayed.
People
 are more likely to succeed – not just at learning
English
, but in employment and education generally – if they are immersed in a community rich in history and tradition. Local dialects are a part of
this
 tradition. Efforts to regenerate and celebrate indigenous cultures in recent decades have demonstrated that the preservation of local
languages
 and the teaching of
English
 are
mutually-reinforcing
Correct your spelling
mutually reinforcing
show examples
 developments. In
this
 way, the local language serves as the bedrock for learning
English
, rather than being an obstacle in need of removal. I think it is important for everyone to learn
English
 but I feel it is unnecessary to frame learning
English
 and keeping local
languages
 alive as conflicting possibilities. Each goal supports the other. We should focus on how best to develop both
English
 and local
languages
in particular
 local contexts.
Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on

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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the importance of learning English and the need to preserve local languages. However, specific examples can make your argument more compelling. Illustrate your points with real-world scenarios or personal experiences.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear and organized. The essay follows a logical progression with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To elevate your score, consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents a balanced viewpoint, showing why English is important while also emphasizing the value of local languages.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and clearly explained, making your argument convincing and well-rounded.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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