In many countries are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

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There is a common view that
Correct article usage
the gap

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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gap
Correct article usage
the gap

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Change preposition
in finance
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finance
Change preposition
in finance

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Correct your spelling
between
betweem
Correct your spelling
between

If you don’t want betweem to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

wealthy people and poor ones should
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reduce. Consider changing it.

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because of
happier
Add an article
a happier

The noun phrase happier world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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world. I do disagree because of the lack of motivation and
becominf
Correct your spelling
becoming

If you don’t want becominf to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

lazy. Really,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are not born with instructions
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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maintenance. So, it
maybe
Correct your spelling
may

The word maybe doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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seems
Wrong verb form
seem

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb seems. Consider changing it.

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logically
Replace the adverb
logical

It appears that the word logically is modifying the subject. Consider changing the adverb to an adjective.

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to participate
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some parenting
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes

It seems that class may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
purpose
Add an article
the purpose

The noun phrase purpose seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to understand
Change preposition
of understanding

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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what
does
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb does appears to be unnecessary here.

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it means to be a parent.
For
Change the preposition
In

The preposition For may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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my opinion, it may be right for young parents before childbirth, and only some instructions about the first days of life. But in my experience, the basic habits, knowledge,
aims
Correct word choice
and aims

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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we can convey to our
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without any special classes.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I can say that I disagree with the statement
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the topic for several reasons. First of all, it's very important
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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both
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents to be in full agreement about the goals
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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raising
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It
Change the verb form
has
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have
Add the particle
have to

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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be done even before pregnancy. It's the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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right way to get to the child concept of boarding.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we all are different, from a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of

It appears that you are missing a preposition after a lot. Consider adding a preposition.

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points of view. Out wishes, family traditions, cultural and socio-economic bands.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Usually. Consider adding a comma.

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people are growing
there
Change preposition
up there

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people or in
scenario
Correct article usage
a scenario

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of their own childhood, if it was really luck, or
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, if their
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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memories are not the best. It
not seems
Change the verb form
does not seem

It appears that the negative verb form not seems is incorrect. Consider changing the verb form.

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possible to unite all the variety of characters under one roof.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, everybody
have
Change the verb form
has

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everybody does not agree with the verb have in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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an opportunity to study
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own mistakes, or
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'

It appears that the word parents should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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mistakes. But it's not happened at all. In conclusion, I think that we have to get
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

basic knowledge about the world, and they would have an opportunity to do their own faults. Without parenting classes.

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coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to clearly outline your main points in the introduction to help guide the reader through your essay.
task response
Make sure your essay stays on topic and directly addresses the questions posed in the prompt. Some parts of your essay do not directly relate to the topic.
task response
Adding specific, relevant examples to support your main points would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your points clearer and more comprehensible.
task response
You have a clear stance and attempt to support it with different arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, even though it can be improved for clearer coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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