IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a common view that
Correct article usage
the gap
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gap
Correct article usage
the gap
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Change preposition
in finance
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finance
Change preposition
in finance
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Correct your spelling
between
betweem
Correct your spelling
between
 wealthy people and poor ones should
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
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 because of
happier
Add an article
a happier
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 world. I do disagree because of the lack of motivation and
becominf
Correct your spelling
becoming
 lazy. Really,
children
Use synonyms
 are not born with instructions
to
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for
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 maintenance. So, it
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
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seems
Wrong verb form
seem
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logically
Replace the adverb
logical
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 to participate
on
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in
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 some parenting
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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 for
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
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to understand
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of understanding
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 what
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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it means to be a parent.
For
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In
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 my opinion, it may be right for young parents before childbirth, and only some instructions about the first days of life. But in my experience, the basic habits, knowledge,
aims
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and aims
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 we can convey to our
children
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 without any special classes.
Moreover
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, I can say that I disagree with the statement
in
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on
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 the topic for several reasons. First of all, it's very important
to
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for
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 both
of
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apply
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parents to be in full agreement about the goals
in
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of
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 raising
children
Use synonyms
. It
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has
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have
Add the particle
have to
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 be done even before pregnancy. It's the only
one
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apply
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right way to get to the child concept of boarding.
Secondly
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, we all are different, from a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
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 points of view. Out wishes, family traditions, cultural and socio-economic bands.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
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 people are growing
there
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up there
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 people or in
scenario
Correct article usage
a scenario
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 of their own childhood, if it was really luck, or
in
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on
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opposite
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the opposite
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, if their
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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 memories are not the best. It
not seems
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does not seem
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 possible to unite all the variety of characters under one roof.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, everybody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an opportunity to study
on
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apply
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their own mistakes, or
on
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apply
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their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 mistakes. But it's not happened at all. In conclusion, I think that we have to get
to
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apply
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our
children
Use synonyms
 basic knowledge about the world, and they would have an opportunity to do their own faults. Without parenting classes.

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coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to clearly outline your main points in the introduction to help guide the reader through your essay.
task response
Make sure your essay stays on topic and directly addresses the questions posed in the prompt. Some parts of your essay do not directly relate to the topic.
task response
Adding specific, relevant examples to support your main points would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your points clearer and more comprehensible.
task response
You have a clear stance and attempt to support it with different arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, even though it can be improved for clearer coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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