The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #participation #children #leisure #activities #australia #information #features #comparisons

the bar charts compare the percentages of Australian

boys

and

girls

from 5 to 14 years old , who participate in recreation ( bike riding, watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct your spelling

video

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

, skateboarding/

Correct your spelling

roller

rolle

Correct your spelling

role

blading,

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

, Electronic) it's clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

boys

make up the highest percentage in 3 categories

while

girls

account for the highest proportion in

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and crafts.

moreover

, both genders occupy the same percentage for watching TV /

vedios

Correct your spelling

videos

. It's

also

worh

Correct your spelling

worth

mentioning that, the percentage of

boys

, who ride

Correct article usage

a bike

show examples

bike

Fix the agreement mistake

bikes

show examples

skateboard

Fix the agreement mistake

skateboards

show examples

display

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher figures than

girls

at approximately 70% and 40% respectively

whereas

girl s

Correct your spelling

girls

show examples

proportions are near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

55 and 25%. watching TV is equally popular at almost 90% .

Correct your spelling

further

detail, there is

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

difference between

girls

and

boys

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

girls

are more interested than

boys

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

( at 50% and 30%) and

also

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

2 other categories (

skateboard

Wrong verb form

skateboarding

show examples

and

bike

Fix the agreement mistake

biking

show examples

)

boys

accounted for 80% in electronic and computer games, which is higher than

girls

with 60%.

Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on Fri Jun 14 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, art with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that spending a lot of money on wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste. Others, however, think that such events are necessary, so spending money on them is acceptable. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

It is sometimes said that people who do physically hard jobs should be paid as much as those with higher-level qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.