The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #participation #children #leisure #activities #australia #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

the bar charts compare the percentages of Australian

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

from 5 to 14 years old , who participate in recreation ( bike riding, watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

Correct your spelling

video

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

, skateboarding/

Correct your spelling

roller

rolle

Correct your spelling

role

blading,

Use synonyms

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

, Electronic) it's clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

boys

Use synonyms

make up the highest percentage in 3 categories

while

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

account for the highest proportion in

Use synonyms

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and crafts.

moreover

Linking Words

, both genders occupy the same percentage for watching TV /

vedios

Correct your spelling

videos

. It's

also

Linking Words

worh

Correct your spelling

worth

mentioning that, the percentage of

boys

Use synonyms

, who ride

Correct article usage

a bike

show examples

bike

Fix the agreement mistake

bikes

show examples

skateboard

Fix the agreement mistake

skateboards

show examples

display

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher figures than

girls

Use synonyms

at approximately 70% and 40% respectively

whereas

Linking Words

girl s

Correct your spelling

girls

show examples

proportions are near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

55 and 25%. watching TV is equally popular at almost 90% .

Correct your spelling

further

Linking Words

detail, there is

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

difference between

girls

Use synonyms

and

boys

Use synonyms

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

girls

Use synonyms

are more interested than

boys

Use synonyms

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

and

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

( at 50% and 30%) and

also

Linking Words

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

2 other categories (

skateboard

Wrong verb form

skateboarding

show examples

and

bike

Fix the agreement mistake

biking

show examples

)

boys

Use synonyms

accounted for 80% in electronic and computer games, which is higher than

girls

Use synonyms

with 60%.

Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on Fri Jun 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, art with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

170 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Participation rates
Leisure activities
Notable differences
Popularity
Trends
Time period
Comparison
Contrast
Gender preferences
External factors
Implications
Cultural influences
Facilities availability
Technological effects

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In modern age, average life expectancy is growing and ageing populations are a common problem for many developed countries in the world and a ticking problem that can cause inflation to the economy in the long term.
8.5
band
You have a problem with the computer at the office which has affected your work Write a letter to your manager and say What problem do you have What difficulties does this create for you What could be done about it.
I am writing to inform you that I recently had a problem with my laptop. I have been working as a software developer in the information technologies department of your company since 2020.
6.5
band
Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, many countries have had a chance to improve the level of life through economic advancement. New sources of income might be harmful to society at the same time. It is agreed, the actions, that might be considered improper, are worth it, when it comes to the country’s economy. Analyzing the chance to decrease the amount of lower class, as well as an opportunity to advance the technology breakthrough in the global market will prove it.
6
band
Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages
Nowadays, in the 21st century, technology is advancing rapidly and plays a more vital role in people's lives than ever before. Even if it sometimes takes the place of humans, technology mainly works to assist rather than replace people. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
8
band
Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling
I am lucky enough to have grown up in a family prioritising health over anything. My mother taught me about oral hygiene awareness from an early age. Because of that, I never had severe dental issues in my life. She also likes to ensure we have enough fruit and vitamin stocks at home. Nonetheless, my father is conscious of the importance of physical activity and always reminds me to exercise regularly in order to maintain my physical condition. In our leisure time, my family likes to train together. However, in my early years of medical school, I could not exercise regularly due to the strict academic timetable. Unfortunately, I caught a gastrointestinal infection right in the week of my clinical skills assessment, which is essential for my grade. The doctor’s examination shows I am severely dehydrated and need an intravenous infusion. That was my first time getting an infusion since I have never been hospitalised except in my newborn phase. Eventually, I realised that no matter how...

The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

You have a problem with the computer at the office which has affected your work Write a letter to your manager and say What problem do you have What difficulties does this create for you What could be done about it.

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling