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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Problems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems. Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion.

#pollution #countries
Over the
last
 few years,
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of harmful
gases
 on the
environment
 has become
one
 of the major problems that people should pay attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
While
gases
 emitted by
cars
 and
gases
 emitted by
factories
 are claimed to be the main reasons behind
this
 issue, there are some effective
solutions
 that can be applied. In
this
 essay, I will discuss major reasons and effective
solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. On the
one
 hand,
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
 of harmful
gases
 on the
environment
. The first driving force behind
this
problem
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
gases
 emitted by
cars
.
For instance
, it is known,
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
 are a lot of
cars
 around the world which
running
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 on oil and gas fuel. The waste
gases
 produced by them cause great damage to the
environment
. Another important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 issue can be
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
gases
 emitted by
factories
.
That is
 because it is known, there are many
factories
 around the world. They produce a lot of exhaust
gases
.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
 of harmful
gases
 on the
environment
 is a serious
problem
, there are some reliable
solutions
 to it. The first viable solution to
this
problem
 is
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
electric
cars
.
For example
, obviously, electric
cars
 do not emit harmful
gases
 and they are harmless to the
environment
. Another significant way by which
this
problem
 can be tackled is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one
 day without
factories
. The reason for
this
 is that on
one
 day of every month, the work of
factories
 should be stopped. Because the daily amount of
gases
 released from them is
also
 very large. In conclusion, it can be said that
although
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of harmful
gases
 on the
environment
 is
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
problem
that is
 creating many negative effects, it can be addressed with the
solutions
 that have been mentioned above.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by ensuring each paragraph is linked smoothly. Use transition phrases between paragraphs to show connections between points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support main points clearly. Avoid vague statements and back up assertions with data or case studies where possible.
task achievement
Develop each idea more comprehensively. Explain how each suggested solution addresses the problem in detail, and consider potential drawbacks or challenges associated with each solution.
coherence cohesion
Good use of an introductory and concluding paragraph. The essay structure is clear, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay identifies two main causes of environmental pollution and provides two potential solutions, showing a balanced approach to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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