The government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sports and arts for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #money #development #sports #arts #school #students #support #art #events

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Some people believe that the

government

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should focus its resources on encouraging the development of

sports

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and

art

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for school

students

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, rather than supporting professional

sports

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

events

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. In my opinion,

while

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both areas are important, I agree that the

government

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should prioritize investing in

sports

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and

arts

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in schools. On the one hand, it is important for the

government

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to support professional

sports

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and

art

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events

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, as these can have a significant economic impact. Professional

sports

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and

art

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events

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can generate tourism, create jobs, and stimulate local economies, which can ultimately benefit everyone.

Moreover

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, supporting professional

sports

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and

art

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events

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can help to showcase a country's culture and talents to the world, which can enhance its global reputation.

For instance

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, some of the most popular festivals in the world attract hundreds of thousands of visitors to the locations each year, generating millions of pounds for the local economy.

On the other hand

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, it’s understandable why there are supporters of the idea that the

government

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should focus on encouraging the development of

sports

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and

arts

Use synonyms

for school

students

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Firstly

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, it can help to promote a healthy lifestyle among young people by encouraging them to engage in physical activity and creative pursuits.

Secondly

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, it can foster teamwork, creativity, and confidence, all of which are important skills for future success.

For example

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, the

government

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can organize

sports

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and

art

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competitions and

events

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that allow

students

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to showcase their talents and compete with their peers.

This

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can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivation for

students

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as well as

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opportunities to build social connections. In conclusion, the role of the

government

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in supporting

sports

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and

arts

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is a complex issue, and there are valid arguments on both sides.

While

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supporting professional

sports

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and

art

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events

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can have significant economic and cultural benefits, I believe that investing in

sports

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and

arts

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in schools should be a priority for the

government

Use synonyms

Submitted by lel819094 on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score in the task achievement criterion, consider elaborating more on the benefits of government investment in school sports and arts with specific examples or evidence from studies. Provide more detailed analysis and a balanced examination of potential drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, while the essay is well-organized and logical, adding more linking phrases and transitional words can further enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported, providing a balanced argument and covering both side perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph building on the previous one and linking back to the main argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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The government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sports and arts for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disargee with this statement?

Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown.Give eamples from your own experience

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?