IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #classes #abilities #range
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It is debatable for some people about the assumption of which situation could the children learn better. Some believe
students
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 in classes with similar academic
abilities
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 would be more beneficial in learning,
while
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 others believe that different academic capabilities will bring a more diverse perspective on how children study.
This
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 essay will elaborate more on these two points of view.
Firstly
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, an equal pace for learning certain topics can create a convenient environment to study.
This
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 could bring a great benefit in order to learn something in a timely manner.
For example
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, there is a term for a class in Indonesia where the
students
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 have similar academic
abilities
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,
that is
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 Acceleration Class. In
this
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 class,
students
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 can learn faster from one subject to another subject,
therefore
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 they can finish their junior or high school within two years.
On the other hand
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, which is the second point of
this
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 essay is where different academic
abilities
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is
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are
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 considered to bring more positive sides
on
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to
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 how
students
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 learn, in my opinion is because with diverse backgrounds
students
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 can contribute insights from various perspectives,
therefore
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 more new knowledge will be gained.
Additionally
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, it will create a supportive studying environment where those who have more
abilities
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 can help other
students
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 who still lack in certain topics,
thus
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 they can
also
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 learn
on
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apply
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how to socialize in a community. In conclusion, both initial assumptions, have their own advantages,
nevertheless
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, those two methods should be applied with true intention
to
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apply
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which is focusing on increasing the academic ability of every student.
Submitted by jermias.darondo89 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear but could be improved by further elaborating on the topic and clearly stating your thesis. Try to make your position more explicit early on.
logical structure
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-supported by relevant examples or explanations. Smooth transitions between points can make your argument more comprehensive.
complete response
To achieve better task response, maintain a balanced approach discussing both views in equal measure. Your argument was a bit more inclined to one side which makes it less balanced.
complete response
The essay effectively presents both perspectives, making it engaging and balanced.
relevant specific examples
Your example of the Acceleration Class in Indonesia is very relevant and helps to support your point effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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