Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, like the Olympics or the World Cup, while others feel that this is a waste of tax-payer money. Discuss both sides and state your opinion
In recent years, there has been a profound increase in the number of individuals questioning the amount of money spent on preparing
athletes
for international competitions. On the one hand, many Use synonyms
people
believe that Use synonyms
this
approach is a poor use of valuable tax-payer money and these funds could be diverted to combating Linking Words
poverty
Use synonyms
instead
. Linking Words
However
, critics, myself included, are of the strong belief that investing vast sums for Linking Words
athletes
to compete at top-level international competitions is justified, Use synonyms
due to
the psychological effect that winning Linking Words
such
honours brings to the Linking Words
nation
.
Use synonyms
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that the exorbitant amounts of money would be better spent on bringing Linking Words
people
out of Use synonyms
poverty
. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
point, when India withdrew from the World Cup in 2006, the government was able to relocate 20,000 Linking Words
people
living in the slums into council housing, Use synonyms
therefore
drastically improving the lives of those Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
as a
Linking Words
result
. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
this
reason, it is clearly evident that when funds are used in ways to benefit less fortunate Linking Words
people
, much more good can be done to not only the Use synonyms
people
it directly affects, but Use synonyms
also
to improve the general standard of living of all Linking Words
people
living in the area. What is more, it is undeniable that Use synonyms
as a
Linking Words
result
of lifting Use synonyms
people
out of Use synonyms
poverty
, those citizens can now live happier lives, Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
which
have the opportunity Correct word choice
and
now
to get an education or contribute to the economy through employment. Rephrase
apply
This
being the case, it is not unreasonable to assume that if Linking Words
countries
decreased or eliminated troves of spending to develop Use synonyms
athletes
for international tournaments, problems Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
poverty
could be solved, leading to much happier citizens and improvements to the economy.
Use synonyms
Nonetheless
, despite the minor drawbacks, it must be stated that by heavily investing in developing Linking Words
athletes
, the greater chances of Use synonyms
success
at an international level can bring fortunes to a country and improve the psychological well-being of its Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
For instance
, when New Zealand won the America's Cup in 1998, there were not only larger sponsorship deals signed for Linking Words
further
competitions, but Linking Words
Use synonyms
nation-wide
partying and positivity spread throughout the country. Correct your spelling
nationwide
Furthermore
, the general consensus among numerous psychologists is that the psychological effects of one's Linking Words
nation
winning a major international competition Use synonyms
has
the added bonus of instilling belief in achieving the impossible, the effects of which can be translated to better work performances. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Moreover
, Linking Words
success
over other competing Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
also
imparts patriotism and love for one's own country, elements which are fundamental to a Linking Words
nation
's economic Use synonyms
success
. With Use synonyms
this
in mind, it is without a doubt that if Linking Words
countries
were to continue preparing Use synonyms
athletes
for Use synonyms
success
on the international stage, the benefits Use synonyms
upon
a victorious Change preposition
of
result
Use synonyms
are
impeccably important for the livelihood of the Wrong verb form
would be
people
, and the economic prosperity of the Use synonyms
nation
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
the aforementioned discussion, Linking Words
while
some are under the impression that decreasing spending for training Linking Words
athletes
can improve Use synonyms
poverty
, others, including Use synonyms
myself
, would strongly argue that the joys of Change the pronoun
me
success
at an international level would have a positive effect on Use synonyms
people
's well-being, Use synonyms
as well as
improving the economy. From my perspective, the added benefits of beating rival Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
sport
can have an overwhelmingly positive effect, and the Fix the agreement mistake
sports
nation
would be happier Use synonyms
as a
Linking Words
result
.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and addresses both sides of the argument effectively. However, try to maintain more consistent support for your main points throughout your paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'troves of spending'). They do not significantly affect comprehension but refining these could make your essay even better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively communicate your main idea.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your arguments well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your logical structure is strong and easy to follow. Each paragraph clearly contributes to the development of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?