IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

One group of people prefer to live in houses that have fewer tall buildings, while others prefer the opposite. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#group #people #houses #buildings
there has been controversy about whether living in an area which has fewer tall buildings is popular among people or its contrast. From my perspective, I believe that living downtown which has a lot of tall buildings is much less convenient. I will discuss both views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, nowadays, life is completely stressful and everyone needs at least one place to live in to avoid that stress ,especially in big cities.
In other words
, crowded cities have some part which is called downtown and important buildings,
as well as
 companies, Banks and other welfare accommodations placed there. Meanwhile, staying in these places not only does not bring you calm and relaxation but
also
 gives you more stress which could be related to work environments and traffic.
In addition
, living downtown has numerous kinds of noises
such
 as construction, cars and so on.
Hence
, renting or buying a house in these areas is not a good decision in
this
 cutting-edge era.
On the other hand
, communities are looking for welfare and they are ready to accept its hardships to reach peace.
Furthermore
, choosing a villa space which includes a building with at least 3 storeys and a house with a yard is the best option. What is best is that bungalows aren't just housed with yards, they are peaceful houses.
Additionally
, family prefer to live in
this
 kind of area and drive more to reach their work destination but have more and more prosperity.
Thus
, I think, the more individuals stay in these neighbourhoods, the more they find peace and
also
 peace of mind. In conclusion, from my point of view, accommodation has an important impact on people's lives and calm.
Therefore
 they should pick the right one and regarding today's increasing pace of life, I believe living in an area with vila houses and cottages is better.
Submitted by sh.sharifpour79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Logical Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure by presenting ideas in a more organized and systematic manner. Use clear paragraphing and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure you have a distinct introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more clearly present the topic and preview the points you will discuss. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the discussed points and restate your opinion.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points more extensively with clear supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should explore a main point in depth to enhance the clarity and strength of your argument.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task. Ensure you discuss both views on the topic and provide a clear opinion in the response with relevant examples and comprehensive ideas.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations and strive to provide more detailed explanations and clearer reasoning for each view that you discuss.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples should be concrete and closely related to the point you are trying to make.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: