Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is clear that
technology
has been improved. As a consequence
, it has a numerous
influence on our environment and ecosystem. Correct word choice
large
Although
some people believe that a simple life can solve this
issue, the majority of people claim that technology
should make
a way to solve Verb problem
find
this
problem. I will discuss both ideas and give my own opinion in further
paragraphs.
To begin
with, technology
has improved in recent decades and some groups of people think they should adopt themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
a simple lifestyle to solve Change preposition
apply
this
problem. For instance
, using more from
public transportation Change preposition
apply
instead
of private cars. Although
private vehicles are very convenience
, we should not use Replace the word
convenient
due
to pollution. since pollution leads to Correct pronoun usage
them due
healthy
Replace the word
health
problems
, such
as breathing issues as well as
heart problems
. Hence
, if we adopt
ourselves Correct your spelling
adapt
with
Change preposition
to
technology
and change our lifestyles, it will be beneficial for out
health.
Correct your spelling
our
On the other hand
, others claim that technology
should solve this
issue itself due to
development of that. However
, if technology
improve
in different fields, it can find a suitable solution for Change the verb form
improves
influences
of Correct article usage
the influences
problems
in the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, it can solve the pollution problems
with an advanced airbag.
In my opinion, technology
can not solve all problems
. For
example
wifi has a positive effect on our lives. But all of us know that it has some negative points and harmful effects Add a comma
example,
also
. So, we should use that a little because of our health.
To sum up
, everything has some advantages and some disadvantages in our live
. Replace the word
lives
Thus
, we should use Correct pronoun usage
it according
according
our Add the preposition
according to
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
as well as
possible. Sometimes we can find a solution for this
problem, sometimes it solved
itself by improvement.Wrong verb form
solves
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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the task, but it needs more specific details and examples to fully develop your arguments. Try to include more real-life examples or statistical data to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are supported with detailed evidence or explanations. This will help make your essay more persuasive and improve the clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your argumentation and ideas are generally clear, but the flow of ideas can be improved. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines both views and states your opinion clearly. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion with some emphasis.
task achievement
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both sides of the argument. This is a good starting point for developing a well-rounded essay.
coherence cohesion
You managed to include an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion, which provides a basic structure for your essay.
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