đź“ť TASK 2: Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Other say countries should have their own law. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The only
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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right structure would be the finest approach with reference to some individuals,
while
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according to
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other
people
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, it would be better to organize specific
rules
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for each country.
Although
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people
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have already adapted to separate
rights
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for every state, there are
also
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plenty of beneficial sides to having
one
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single legal system all over the world. In current times, it ought to be the best way to have their own
laws
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because of local needs.
That is
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to say, in
countries
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, there are zillions of diverse regions, origins, and environments which the government has to consider. These aspects of cities have to be considered when they are making new
rules
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for their own
countries
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.
Due to
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this
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,
people
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's lives would be effortless by making flexible and adequate
laws
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for them.
Nevertheless
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, there is
one
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massive problem among international
countries
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.
For instance
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, sanctions on a considerable amount of products were declared to Russia by a lot of states. The main reason was that the Russian government's
laws
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were not suitable for all
countries
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' individuals.
Therefore
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, it is arduous to make
rules
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for each state despite the fact that there would be uncertainties and incompatibilities which could prevail in their own country.
On the other hand
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, a solitary principle for all would be beneficial in different ways. First and foremost, obviously, travelling, working, and living could be easier.
Subsequently
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, protection of
rights
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can be elite in that system, since these
laws
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will be known throughout the world.
For
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this
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reason, being aware of their own
rights
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,
people
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might not commit a crime as frequently as they have done.
For example
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, in Belgium and the Netherlands, there are too many principles which were made analogous
rules
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for citizens' convenience. It leads to a dramatic reduction of minor offences
such
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as shoplifting, littering, and disturbing the peace of residents as there are plenty of individuals who know about their fines and punishments.
Thus
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,
this
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is useful to organize only
one
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principle for all in order to maintain a city's peace. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, even though it is an effective way to make outstanding
rights
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for each country in order to improve the coincidence of local necessities, the general principles will be much more advantageous to avoid obstructions and to explore a peaceful world.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader more effortlessly.
task achievement
Some sentences could be simplified for better clarity. For instance, 'these laws will be known throughout the world' could be revised to 'these laws would be universally recognized'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a good context for the discussion and clearly outlines both viewpoints.
supported main points
Both body paragraphs provide detailed supporting points for each side of the argument, making the essay well-balanced.
relevant specific examples
Relevance of examples is strong, particularly in the analogy made between Belgium and the Netherlands.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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