The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
The chart illustrates how many students from one university, that learned Anthropology, integrated into the working market,
while
the table describes the level of
salaries
and type of employment. In terms of destination of Anthropology graduates, 52% have full-time
work
, and 12% are unemployed. Interestingly, 8% continue full-time postgraduate study, and only 5% combine part-time
work
and postgraduate study. In terms of
salaries
, based on 5 years'
work
statistics, the government sector pays the highest
salaries
, as 50% of graduates earn more than 100,000 USD,
while
in private companies it accounted for 30% only.
In addition
, private companies have the
biggest
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
rate of low
salaries
( 25000-49999 USD), which is twice bigger compared to the rest of the market
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and accounted for 10%.
Finally
, most of the employees as freelance consultants earn above 75000 USD ( 80% )
Overall
, two-thirds of the Anthropology graduates
work
,
while
12% continue learning. The government sector pays the biggest
salaries
,
while
private companies pay the least,
however
, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freelance consultants earn relatively high
salaries
.
Submitted by vikiregev on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, work with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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