IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should append money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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It has been argued that governmental funding should be invested more in
railway
Use synonyms
construction
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while
Linking Words
 others tend to choose roads. I completely agree with
this
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 idea because I believe that
railways
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 can solve various
problems
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 that the
government
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 currently has. It is true that rail line spends more funds on
construction
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 than roads.
That is
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 to say,
railways
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 need more budget for maintenance and operation because they need professionals and other resources to operate the system and maintain the
railways
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.
For instance
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, the
railway
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 system often gets troubles
such
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 as broken rails, internet connection
problems
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 and the scarcity of electricity resources
thus
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, it needs a high budget to solve these
problems
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.
To sum up
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, these are reasons made the
government
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 hesitantly invests their money in
railways
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 and makes them the main way of transportation in the city.
Besides
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 that,
railways
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 can solve numerous city
problems
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 that cost more than the
railway
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 budget for
construction
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, operation and maintenance.
Firstly
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, it can solve traffic accidents and congestion
problems
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.
While
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 one route of road needs 40-50 cars to bring 200 people in one trip, a
railway
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 can bring
this
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 total number of people at once, so they can avoid traffic jams and arrive safely and punctually at their destination.
Secondly
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, the presence of a rail system can fix some environmental
problems
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such
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 as air pollution and climate change. The efficiency of
railways
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 made car users switch their mode of transportation
therefore
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, it can reduce the carbon emissions and toxins released through the air.
This
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 essay argued that the
railway
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 needs a substantial sum of money whether for
construction
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, operation to maintenance
as a result
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, the
government
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 is doubtfully spending their money on it.
However
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, in my opinion, I completely disagree because
railways
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 have a big impact on solving some challenges the
government
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 recently faced that cost more than the
railway
Use synonyms
’s expenditure.
Submitted by christineangela59 on

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relevant specific examples
While the essay effectively establishes a clear stance, consider incorporating additional specific examples and details to further support your position. For instance, mention specific cities or countries where rail investments have had notable impacts.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph’s main idea is clearly stated at the beginning. While the essay is mostly coherent, occasionally the connection between some ideas could be more explicitly signposted.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion restates the main points effectively, but a stronger emphasis on the implications of investing in railways over roads could enhance the argument. Adding a concluding remark that projects future benefits would strengthen your conclusion.
complete response
The essay presents a clear and consistent stance throughout, which helps in fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the writer’s position, setting up the essay’s structure well.
clear comprehensive ideas
The argument about railways alleviating traffic congestion and environmental issues is a strong point that is well articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: