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Writing Samples
Band 6

othere think secondary school students should study inter Dions both these views and gie your while others belleve that tary school studi valuable school time. Discuss both these side

#othere #school #students #study #dions #gie #belleve #tary #studi #time #side
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The idea of including international
news
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 in secondary school curricula is, admittedly, a topic that divides opinion. Some people believe it is essential, not least because it broadens
students
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' perspectives and aligns with the needs of an interconnected world. Needless to say, understanding
Blobal
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Global
 issues fosters critical thinking.
However
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,
this
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 proposal is not without its drawbacks; critics argue that it wastes valuable school time that could be used for core subjects. As far as educational priorities are concerned, balancing these needs in advance is crucial. In line with these views, it is worth enough to believe integrating international
news
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 can greatly benefit
students
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'
education
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. One of the key arguments in
favor
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favour
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 of including international
news
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 in secondary school curricula is that it significantly broadens
students
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' perspectives. By learning about global events,
students
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 gain a deeper understanding of different cultures, political systems, and economic issues.
This
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 exposure helps them develop a well-rounded worldview, which is especially important in today's globalized society. Not least,
this
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 knowledge equips
students
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 with the ability to critically analyze international affairs, which can be invaluable in their personal and professional lives. In line with
this
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, schools can foster a generation of informed citizens who are prepared to engage with global challenges.
However
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,
this
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 approach is not without its drawbacks. Critics argue that adding international
news
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 to the
curriculum
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 might take away from time that could be better spent on core subjects like mathematics, science, and language arts. Admittedly, these subjects are foundational to a student's
education
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 and future career prospects. As far as
curriculum
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 design is concerned, it is crucial to strike a balance so that
students
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 receive a comprehensive
education
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 without compromising their proficiency in essential areas.
This
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 balancing act requires careful planning and prioritization, ensuring that
students
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 do not miss out on critical learning opportunities.
Moreover
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, implementing a
curriculum
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 that includes international
news
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 can be challenging. Teachers need to be well-versed in global issues and skilled in facilitating discussions about complex and sometimes controversial topics.
This
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 might require additional training and resources, which could be a strain on educational budgets.
Additionally
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, the
curriculum
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 must be engaging and relevant to
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students'
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student's
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 lives so that they can relate to and appreciate the importance of international
news
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. Ensuring that these elements are in place is crucial so that the initiative does not become a mere tick-box exercise but a meaningful part of
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students'
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student's
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education
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.
Submitted by hirushanayodh12 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a generally complete response to the task, but it would benefit from more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas and provide ample evidence for each of your arguments to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and reiterating your stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and body paragraphs.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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