IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #people #environment
Protecting the habitat has always been a top priority in the modern day. Local authorities should require citizens to look after their local surroundings .
This
 essay will discuss my agreement with the abovementioned matter.
Firstly
, it is recommended that the government make citizens responsible for their own local living conditions. Authorities in every country should educate locals on recycling and make it compulsory for everyone in the neighbourhood to sort out recyclable and non-recyclable items before disposing of their trash. People are raising awareness of the recycling system in
this
 way, as it plays a vital role in saving the planet.
Additionally
, heavy fines will be placed if citizens are found not to obey the recycling rules in some countries.
For instance
, in Australia, the fine is about 10 dollars for every litter on the street.
Secondly
, local councils cannot supervise locals all the time,
hence
, these individuals must play their part in protecting their environment. Communities should have a cleanup day every month, encouraging people to keep their neighbourhood safe and spotless. The communities need to cooperate/collaborate for a better purpose without financial benefit. There are multiple non-governmental programs that already exist and making huge impacts. They are bringing knowledge and education to humans on how to keep the planet green.
Furthermore
, research from Cambridge University has stated that the local community has more influence on individuals than programs of the state in terms of environmental protection.
Overall
, the authority and human should work alongside to maintain their local living condition. Without the work from both parties, it would be an extraordinarily difficult task to keep quality living at a high level.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear thesis statement outlining your main points. This will provide a stronger structure and ensure that the reader understands your position from the beginning.
Content Development
Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples and clearer explanations about why you believe them. For example, provide more details on how community clean-up days can be effectively organized.
Transitions
Your arguments are clear, but consider linking your ideas more smoothly. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay logically.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay by briefly summarizing your main arguments and restating your overall stance. This will provide a stronger sense of closure.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, outlining both why and how local citizens could be responsible for their environment.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making your essay easy to follow.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the fines in Australia, adds credibility to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: