Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Numerous individuals think that it is wiser to put aside more budget to
researh
Correct your spelling
research
the possibility of living on
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
.
On the other hand
, some believe that the main solution to
this
problem is to focus on the development of
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
while
finding the solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the problems. In my opinion, governments should delve more into the problems on the
earth
and find ways to enhance the quality of life on
this
planet.
Firstly
, based on some research and
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
explanations, there are not many
planets
that are liveable by living individuals
such
as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Spending more time and money to delve deeper into
this
will certainly be a waste as there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not much that we can do if other
planets
' quality
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
too far from human's living standard.
Therefore
,
instead
to take
Change preposition
of taking
show examples
a look
further
into
this
, it is better if the stakeholders focus on developing things that are already built on
earth
.
Secondly
, with the case of over-population on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
, it is going to be hard to move all people to
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
.
This
will
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
of efficiency as the probability of everyone moving to another planet is low.
Moreover
, if living on
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
were to happen, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
surely
costs
Change the verb form
cost
show examples
a lot and not many people can afford it.
As a result
,
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
will only be lived by individuals that
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
go to
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
declining
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
phase.
This
could be another issue faced by both society and governments. In conclusion, I believe that allocating
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
towards finding the right solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
earth's
Capitalize word
Earth's
show examples
problems is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
idea compared to spending more time and money to find ways to relocate to
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
. The reason why is because of the stability of
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
making it easier to develop, and preventing more issues
coming
Change preposition
from coming
show examples
in the future.
Submitted by oktavianisaa123 on

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task achievement
Your introduction is concise and presents the topic clearly. However, you could further improve it by briefly outlining the main points you'll discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try linking the ideas between sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. For example, use transitional phrases such as 'furthermore,' 'on the other hand,' or 'consequently.'
task achievement
While your arguments are clear, using more specific examples and data could make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your position clearly.
task achievement
You've managed to cover both perspectives of the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Space exploration
  • Extraterrestrial life
  • Technological advancements
  • Investment in the future
  • Immediate problems
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Healthcare system
  • Educational resources
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Sustainable investments
  • Funding allocation
  • Interplanetary research
  • Cosmic curiosity
  • Global challenges
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