Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some argue that using computers in multiple ways for
students
Use synonyms
will serve
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
role
Use synonyms
of
teachers
Use synonyms
in the future. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
assertion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is hard for
students
Use synonyms
to grasp precise
information
Use synonyms
or knowledge through the
Internet
Use synonyms
. If
students
Use synonyms
are educated by their
teachers
Use synonyms
, they can get accurate and useful knowledge directly, preventing them from being exposed to amiss
information
Use synonyms
through the
Internet
Use synonyms
. They have no ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
role
Use synonyms
of
teachers
Use synonyms
is necessary
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
at a young age.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies already have shown the drawbacks of getting
information
Use synonyms
through the
Internet
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
being exposed to its harmful and obscene
information
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a limit to getting other important factors for life success by computers.
In other words
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
play an increasingly important
role
Use synonyms
in the formation of the brains of
students
Use synonyms
.
Teachers
Use synonyms
can teach not only general knowledge but
also
Linking Words
social
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, let’s make a scenario that there is a student who has
immpressive
Correct your spelling
impressive
academic
skills
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
the
Internet
Use synonyms
can help him to develop his problem-solving
skills
Use synonyms
and more, it may not be guaranteed that he will
succeedwithout
Correct your spelling
succeed without
social
skills
Use synonyms
. It is imperative for him to get along well with his nearby
such
Linking Words
as friends, family, neighbours and more. These
skills
Use synonyms
can be taught solely by
teachers
Use synonyms
, resulting in a substantial help to children in schools. In conclusion, I firmly believe that being educated by
teachers
Use synonyms
cannot be replaced with the
Internet
Use synonyms
. The
role
Use synonyms
of educators is much larger than we think, so the
Internet
Use synonyms
has to be merely a supplementary means in schools.
Submitted by dmdql2708 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples and provide a broader range of specifics to support your argument. This will enhance the depth of your essay and showcase a greater understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and including more transitional phrases to aid the flow of ideas. This not only improves readability but also demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and effectively encapsulate your stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a structured argument with clear main points that are supported throughout, demonstrating an understanding of the essay structure.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the hypothetical scenario of a student lacking social skills, helps in grounding your argument and making it more relatable.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: