Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that using computers in multiple ways for
students
will serve as
the Change preposition
apply
role
of teachers
in the future. I completely disagree with this
assertion.
To begin
with, it is hard for students
to grasp precise information
or knowledge through the Internet
. If students
are educated by their teachers
, they can get accurate and useful knowledge directly, preventing them from being exposed to amiss information
through the Internet
. They have no ability to distinguish right from wrong. Therefore
, the role
of teachers
is necessary especially
at a young age. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For instance
, many studies already have shown the drawbacks of getting information
through the Internet
, due to
being exposed to its harmful and obscene information
.
Furthermore
, there is a limit to getting other important factors for life success by computers. In other words
, teachers
play an increasingly important role
in the formation of the brains of students
. Teachers
can teach not only general knowledge but also
social skills
. For example
, let’s make a scenario that there is a student who has immpressive
academic Correct your spelling
impressive
skills
. Although
the Internet
can help him to develop his problem-solving skills
and more, it may not be guaranteed that he will succeedwithout
social Correct your spelling
succeed without
skills
. It is imperative for him to get along well with his nearby such
as friends, family, neighbours and more. These skills
can be taught solely by teachers
, resulting in a substantial help to children in schools.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that being educated by teachers
cannot be replaced with the Internet
. The role
of educators is much larger than we think, so the Internet
has to be merely a supplementary means in schools.Submitted by dmdql2708 on
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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples and provide a broader range of specifics to support your argument. This will enhance the depth of your essay and showcase a greater understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and including more transitional phrases to aid the flow of ideas. This not only improves readability but also demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and effectively encapsulate your stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a structured argument with clear main points that are supported throughout, demonstrating an understanding of the essay structure.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the hypothetical scenario of a student lacking social skills, helps in grounding your argument and making it more relatable.