Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that using computers in multiple ways for
students
will serve
as
Change preposition
apply
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the
role
of
teachers
in the future. I completely disagree with
this
assertion.
To begin
with, it is hard for
students
to grasp precise
information
or knowledge through the
Internet
. If
students
are educated by their
teachers
, they can get accurate and useful knowledge directly, preventing them from being exposed to amiss
information
through the
Internet
. They have no ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Therefore
, the
role
of
teachers
is necessary
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
at a young age.
For instance
, many studies already have shown the drawbacks of getting
information
through the
Internet
,
due to
being exposed to its harmful and obscene
information
.
Furthermore
, there is a limit to getting other important factors for life success by computers.
In other words
,
teachers
play an increasingly important
role
in the formation of the brains of
students
.
Teachers
can teach not only general knowledge but
also
social
skills
.
For example
, let’s make a scenario that there is a student who has
immpressive
Correct your spelling
impressive
academic
skills
.
Although
the
Internet
can help him to develop his problem-solving
skills
and more, it may not be guaranteed that he will
succeedwithout
Correct your spelling
succeed without
social
skills
. It is imperative for him to get along well with his nearby
such
as friends, family, neighbours and more. These
skills
can be taught solely by
teachers
, resulting in a substantial help to children in schools. In conclusion, I firmly believe that being educated by
teachers
cannot be replaced with the
Internet
. The
role
of educators is much larger than we think, so the
Internet
has to be merely a supplementary means in schools.
Submitted by dmdql2708 on

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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples and provide a broader range of specifics to support your argument. This will enhance the depth of your essay and showcase a greater understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and including more transitional phrases to aid the flow of ideas. This not only improves readability but also demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and effectively encapsulate your stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a structured argument with clear main points that are supported throughout, demonstrating an understanding of the essay structure.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the hypothetical scenario of a student lacking social skills, helps in grounding your argument and making it more relatable.
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