Some people say that the extensive use of computers in schools will replace the role of teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that using computers in multiple ways for
students
will serve
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
role
of
teachers
in the future. I completely disagree with
this
assertion.
To begin
with, it is hard for
students
to grasp precise
information
or knowledge through the
Internet
. If
students
are educated by their
teachers
, they can get accurate and useful knowledge directly, preventing them from being exposed to amiss
information
through the
Internet
. They have no ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Therefore
, the
role
of
teachers
is necessary
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
at a young age.
For instance
, many studies already have shown the drawbacks of getting
information
through the
Internet
,
due to
being exposed to its harmful and obscene
information
.
Furthermore
, there is a limit to getting other important factors for life success by computers.
In other words
,
teachers
play an increasingly important
role
in the formation of the brains of
students
.
Teachers
can teach not only general knowledge but
also
social
skills
.
For example
, let’s make a scenario that there is a student who has
immpressive
Correct your spelling
impressive
academic
skills
.
Although
the
Internet
can help him to develop his problem-solving
skills
and more, it may not be guaranteed that he will
succeedwithout
Correct your spelling
succeed without
social
skills
. It is imperative for him to get along well with his nearby
such
as friends, family, neighbours and more. These
skills
can be taught solely by
teachers
, resulting in a substantial help to children in schools. In conclusion, I firmly believe that being educated by
teachers
cannot be replaced with the
Internet
. The
role
of educators is much larger than we think, so the
Internet
has to be merely a supplementary means in schools.
Submitted by dmdql2708 on

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Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples and provide a broader range of specifics to support your argument. This will enhance the depth of your essay and showcase a greater understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and including more transitional phrases to aid the flow of ideas. This not only improves readability but also demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly marked and effectively encapsulate your stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a structured argument with clear main points that are supported throughout, demonstrating an understanding of the essay structure.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the hypothetical scenario of a student lacking social skills, helps in grounding your argument and making it more relatable.
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