Should everyone have a gun at home? Agree or Disagree?

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There are some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
whatever
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
should have a
gun
at home. Some
people
may think
this
is a way to ensure their safety. In my opinion, I think
that is
totally wrong.
People
should not have a
gun
at home.
Firstly
, it is too dangerous for the
people
who
having
Change the form of the verb
have
show examples
a
gun
.
Gun
Add an article
The gun
A gun
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
powerful weapon. It can kill
people
easily only by a headshot.
As a result
, It may increase the percentage of homicide or suicide.
According to
the
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
embassy
from the United States government. 600,000
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
killed by
gunshot
Fix the agreement mistake
gunshots
show examples
since 2000. Some
people
worries
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
the data will keep rising if there is no way to stop
gun
ownership.
Secondly
,
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
too dangerous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children or young
people
. Those young
people
can
Verb problem
do
show examples
not realize
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
unsafe for them. They may try to play it and
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that is
funny.
As a result
, they may
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their lives and
also
hurts
Wrong verb form
hurt
show examples
their parents.
For example
, if a kid
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
a loaded
gun
. The
gun
may give a shot to him or his parents.
According to
BBC News, over 20,000 children
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
died by gunshot. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that is
because their parents did not keep a
gun
in a safe place. In conclusion, I
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
agree that everyone should have a
gun
at home because it is too dangerous for
people
and children.
People
may not know how to control
this
weapon and may
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
lives.
Submitted by millstonelee on

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task achievement
Start with a clearer introduction that outlines the main arguments you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Remove minor grammatical errors to make the writing more professional.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion and maintain it throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant supporting points and some examples.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single main point, which maintains overall clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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