Should everyone have a gun at home? Agree or Disagree?

#gun #home

There are some

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

whatever

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

should have a

gun

at home. Some

people

may think

this

is a way to ensure their safety. In my opinion, I think

that is

totally wrong.

People

should not have a

gun

at home.

Firstly

, it is too dangerous for the

people

who

having

Change the form of the verb

have

show examples

gun

Gun

Add an article

The gun

A gun

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

powerful weapon. It can kill

people

easily only by a headshot.

As a result

, It may increase the percentage of homicide or suicide.

According to

the

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

embassy

from the United States government. 600,000

people

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

killed by

gunshot

Fix the agreement mistake

gunshots

show examples

since 2000. Some

people

worries

Change the verb form

worry

show examples

the data will keep rising if there is no way to stop

gun

ownership.

Secondly

gun

Fix the agreement mistake

guns

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

too dangerous for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children or young

people

. Those young

people

can

Verb problem

show examples

not realize

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

gun

Fix the agreement mistake

guns

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unsafe for them. They may try to play it and

thinks

Correct subject-verb agreement

think

show examples

that is

funny.

As a result

, they may

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their lives and

also

hurts

Wrong verb form

hurt

show examples

their parents.

For example

, if a kid

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a loaded

gun

. The

gun

may give a shot to him or his parents.

According to

BBC News, over 20,000 children

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

died by gunshot. The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

that is

because their parents did not keep a

gun

in a safe place. In conclusion, I

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

agree that everyone should have a

gun

at home because it is too dangerous for

people

and children.

People

may not know how to control

this

weapon and may

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

lives.

Submitted by millstonelee on Sun Jun 16 2024

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task achievement

Start with a clearer introduction that outlines the main arguments you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Remove minor grammatical errors to make the writing more professional.

task achievement

Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Use connecting words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

You clearly express your opinion and maintain it throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay contains relevant supporting points and some examples.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph focuses on a single main point, which maintains overall clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Should everyone have a gun at home? Agree or Disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the recent increasing cheap air travel brings benefits, while other people think it has drawbacks to the environment involves resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

‎ Some young people leave the countryside to live in cities or towns, leaving only ‎older people in the countryside. What are the problems of this issue? What can ‎be done to solve this problem?‎

Some people think that it is good to spend money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In the world so many different types of the music. For what we need music? Is the traditional music of country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?