In the modern world, many children spend a lot of time in front of computers, televisions, and smartphones. This is very harmful to them. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays it is so
regulary
for children Correct your spelling
regular
being
in front ofChange the verb form
to be
theTV
, laptops or Correct your spelling
the TV
mobilephones
and absolutely Correct your spelling
mobile phones
this
is a very dangerous behaviour that they are used to do it and I strongly agree with this
opinion.
Being in these situations can make them to be
lazy or being Verb problem
apply
owerveight
Correct your spelling
overweight
also
decrease
their ability to socialize Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
others
. When a child is spending all the time by using these smart Change preposition
with others
gagets
so that he or she is sitting all the time and do not have any activity absolutely Correct your spelling
gadgets
get
fat, Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
get
lazy and Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
do
not Correct subject-verb agreement
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
have
feel like spending time with other people because of do not Add the particle
have to
learning
how can communicate Change the verb form
learn
also
it is going to be so hard for them to planing
for their future.
Correct your spelling
planning
However
, it is said that, but
Correct word choice
apply
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
in
some specific occasions they may get successful in some topics what are being a website designer or having some jobs which are well-paid because of the abilities they have got, but they lose the other skills in their lifetime what are so important and Change preposition
on
neccessary
.
So living like these babies Correct your spelling
necessary
it
is not Correct pronoun usage
apply
really
Correct article usage
a really
good
way to Correct article usage
a good
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
lifetime
. Professionals must do some measurements before gets late because I am not a Add an article
a lifetime
carrier
person in Correct your spelling
career
this
topic and my opinion can not be compeleted
.Correct your spelling
completed
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grammar
Improve your grammatical accuracy by carefully checking subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and prepositions. For example, 'it is so regulary' should be 'it is so regular' and 'do not have feel like' should be 'do not feel like.'
example
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your points effectively. For instance, explain a bit more how excessive screen time leads to social isolation with a relatable example.
coherence
Work on the structure of your essay to ensure a more coherent flow. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
position
You have a clear opinion and your position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
content
You have identified some relevant points such as obesity, laziness, and social isolation, which are pertinent to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.