Topic: In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?
Many
people
believe that alive in the city
more
comfortable than in Add a missing verb
is more
village
. The main Add an article
the village
a village
reasons
why they are moving from rural to urban is Fix the agreement mistake
reason
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
This
essay will discuss about
some Remove the preposition
apply
causes
this
problem.
Actually, everyone Change preposition
of this
need
to search income for Change the verb form
needs
fulfill
their basic life necessary. Sometimes, when the Fix the infinitive
to fulfill
people
lived
in the village, they Wrong verb form
live
are meeting
some problems Wrong verb form
meet
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
about
Change preposition
with
Add an article
the job
a job
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Job
opportunity
in Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
the
urban biggest than in rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
and that is
the first cause. The second causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
are
salary, it is becoming the first Correct subject-verb agreement
is
poin
why many Correct your spelling
point
people
choose live
in the Fix the infinitive
to live
city
. Also
, the salary already
related Add a missing verb
is already
on
the time Change preposition
to
work
both Wrong verb form
worked
of
full-time Change preposition
apply
or
part-time. The third Correct word choice
and
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
are
career, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
usually
every Add a comma
usually,
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
moving
from rural towards urban Wrong verb form
moves
areas
because they have placemented
a career Correct your spelling
placement
placements
job
in the
company. Correct article usage
a
In
Change preposition
On
other
hand, they have Correct article usage
the other
marriaged
and lived in the Correct your spelling
married
marriage
city
with their new family.
Not just for employee
but can be seen for Fix the agreement mistake
employees
student
. There are some Fix the agreement mistake
students
causes
the students
choose moving
to the Change the verb form
to move
city
. In my country, almost all students
especially after graduated
from senior high school. They are next studying Wrong verb form
graduating
in
some university in the Change preposition
at
city
. Absolutelly
, the best quality of education available in rural Correct your spelling
Absolutely
areas
both of facility the school, public transportation, the advancement of technology, the community and others. In addition
, the students
can improve their skills through some opportunity
that they get. The social Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
also
became the
important Correct article usage
an
aspects
. Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
For instance
, the additional classes like music, dance, art and others. The government also
organize some events for the students
.
My conclusion, this
essay have
discussed some Change the verb form
has
causes
the
many Change preposition
for the
peoples
moving from rural to urban Fix the agreement mistake
people
areas
both of
Change preposition
apply
job
or Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
employee
and Fix the agreement mistake
employees
students
that continue their education stage.Submitted by writingbersama on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay needs a stronger and clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to clearly state the main points that will be discussed.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow of the essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific, detailed examples. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and make your arguments more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop each paragraph fully and ensure that each point is clearly explained. Avoid vague statements and provide specific explanations and examples to clarify your points.
complete response
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and readability. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay touches on both the reasons why people move from rural to urban areas and the consequences for students, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed, which provides a sense of closure to the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?