Topic: In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

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Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that alive in the

city

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

comfortable than in

village

Add an article

the village

a village

show examples

. The main

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

why they are moving from rural to urban is

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

some

causes

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

of this

show examples

problem. Actually, everyone

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to search income for

fulfill

Fix the infinitive

to fulfill

show examples

their basic life necessary. Sometimes, when the

people

Use synonyms

lived

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

in the village, they

are meeting

Wrong verb form

meet

show examples

some problems

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

Use synonyms

Add an article

the job

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Job

Use synonyms

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban biggest than in rural

areas

Use synonyms

and

that is

Linking Words

the first cause. The second

Use synonyms

causes

Fix the agreement mistake

cause

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

salary, it is becoming the first

poin

Correct your spelling

point

why many

people

Use synonyms

choose

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

show examples

in the

city

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, the salary

already

Add a missing verb

is already

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the time

work

Wrong verb form

worked

show examples

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

full-time

Correct word choice

and

show examples

part-time. The third

Use synonyms

causes

Fix the agreement mistake

cause

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

career,

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

every

Use synonyms

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

moving

Wrong verb form

moves

show examples

from rural towards urban

areas

Use synonyms

because they have

placemented

Correct your spelling

placement

placements

a career

job

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

show examples

company.

Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, they have

marriaged

Correct your spelling

married

marriage

and lived in the

city

Use synonyms

with their new family. Not just for

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

but can be seen for

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

. There are some

causes

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the

students

Use synonyms

choose

moving

Change the verb form

to move

show examples

to the

city

Use synonyms

. In my country, almost all

students

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especially after

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduating

show examples

from senior high school. They are next studying

Change preposition

show examples

some university in the

city

Use synonyms

Absolutelly

Correct your spelling

Absolutely

, the best quality of education available in rural

areas

Use synonyms

both of facility the school, public transportation, the advancement of technology, the community and others.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

students

Use synonyms

can improve their skills through some

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

that they get. The social

environtment

Correct your spelling

environment

also

Linking Words

became

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important

aspects

Fix the agreement mistake

aspect

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, the additional classes like music, dance, art and others. The government

also

Linking Words

organize some events for the

students

Use synonyms

. My conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

discussed some

causes

Use synonyms

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

many

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

moving from rural to urban

areas

Use synonyms

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

and

students

Use synonyms

that continue their education stage.

writingbersamaSun Jun 16 2024

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introduction conclusion present

The essay needs a stronger and clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to clearly state the main points that will be discussed.

logical structure

Improve the logical flow of the essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.

supported main points

Support your main points with more specific, detailed examples. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and make your arguments more compelling.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop each paragraph fully and ensure that each point is clearly explained. Avoid vague statements and provide specific explanations and examples to clarify your points.

complete response

Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and readability. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay touches on both the reasons why people move from rural to urban areas and the consequences for students, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

introduction conclusion present

You have included a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed, which provides a sense of closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urbanization
migration
metropolis
infrastructure
amenities
rural exodus
standard of living
healthcare facilities
educational institutions
job prospects
overpopulation
housing crisis
public transport
sanitation issues
agricultural decline
workforce
traditional values
cultural diversity
environmental impact
pollution
green spaces

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Topic: In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Your opinion

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas in words, pictures, music, or film, in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between the rich and poor, while others argue that it helps to reduce this gap. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.

More and more people are expected to be living in urban centres in the future. What problems will this cause? Should the government encourage people to settle outside the city?