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Band 7.5

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects. Other people think that, in today's world , subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #subjects #world #science #technology
While
 some believe History as a subject is essential, others argue that Science and Technology are more important than History.
This
 essay will discuss both views and provide my own opinion regarding the above statement. History gives us the opportunity to have detailed information about the past.
This
 grants us the ability to look into those mistakes that have been made before and
also
, to learn from them.
This
 eventually leads us to avoid any future mistakes.
Moreover
, it educates us about the interactions and the relationships a country has had.
For example
, countries established various unions in order to maintain world peace after the devastating period of World War 2.
On the other hand
, science and technology are needed for development and numerous innovations in a country.
Furthermore
,
this
 elevates the economy and promotes
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 growth of the significant nation. Without the younger population knowing these subjects it will be impossible to grow economically .
For instance
, elevation in science made it possible to use solar power as an energy source. These technological materials must be carried out through generations and commencement could be done in school.
However
, my point of view is that both of these subjects are equally important and should be taught in schools. It is true that great innovations are essential for the development of a country yet, repeating already made mistakes can downgrade the whole growth at once.
Thus
, knowing your nation's past is essential
as well as
 the scientific material. As growth cannot be achieved without either one.
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on

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coherence cohesion
Incorporate some more transitional phrases to ensure smooth progression between paragraphs and ideas. Examples include 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'In contrast.'
task achievement
Reread and edit sentences for minor grammatical errors and redundancies. For example, 'elevation in science' could be better phrased as 'advancements in science.'
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both views and provides a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the unions formed after World War 2 and the use of solar power, to support the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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