What do you think are the main causes of inequality between rich and poor nations in the world? What can be done to reduce this gap? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
What are the basic reasons that some people are wealthy,
while
others are living in poverty? What action should be taken to decrease Linking Words
this
difference? There are limited resources on our planet which provide richness. Contrary, the honest distribution of it will minimize the distinctions between rich and poor people.
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However
, from the beginning of human beings, there are some who have better living conditions than others. Linking Words
However
, the secret of their fortune is that they owe or control the resource base. Linking Words
For example
, Bill Gates is the richest man in the World, his personal status costs over 20 billion dollars, Linking Words
according to
data collected by Forbes magazine in 2016. Mr.Gates controls his company which provides software. The organization is a resource, and controlling it makes his wealth grow. Linking Words
Also
, The Microsoft Company is a single one, obviously, it is limited. Linking Words
On the other hand
, your own intelligence is a tool that can make you rich anyway, because you can create technology letting make money.
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Nevertheless
, the sign of developed civilization is the fair distribution of resources among civilians, which is a way of reducing differences between populations. Linking Words
For example
, there are different States with kinds of political issues, Linking Words
such
as China and the U.S.A. Both of them have billionaires and poor men. Both governments are efficient in distributing resources. The statistics agency John Smith and Co. says these countries have the lowest level of poverty, Linking Words
otherwise
, they have the biggest amount of millionaires. Respectively, a poverty level of 5.7% and 4.6% and a wealth level of 7.8% and 10.1%. Linking Words
Due to
unwise policy, like the Oligarchy, the size of differences can be huge.
In conclusion, the reason to get rich is owing or controlling stocks, but the way to make it fair is to distribute truthfully.Linking Words
Submitted by interclass1982 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. The essay seems to jump between points without smooth transitions. Consider using more cohesive devices to link your arguments and ideas effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed comprehensively. While you have provided reasons and examples, make sure they are clearly tied to the main argument and that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-developed.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This would make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both causes of inequality and potential solutions, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument and provide a sense of closure.
task achievement
Your use of real-world examples, such as references to Bill Gates and different countries, adds relevance and demonstrates an ability to connect the topic to real-life situations.
Your opinion
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