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Band 3

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school
In several nations, parents prefer to educate their kids at
home
, in place of studying at school. Homeschooling might exclude pressure from teachers and other pupils, but
this
 advantage does not outweigh
Correct article usage
the experience’s
show examples
experience’s
Change noun form
experience
show examples
 disadvantage
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 isolation from society. 
 A lot of people think that studying at
home
 may save children from stress derived from tutors. Mentors and other students might humiliate
schoolchild
Correct article usage
the schoolchild
show examples
 because of his academic achievement and other shortcoming.
For example
, there are surveys which
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that every pupil was degraded because of their deficiencies. 

Main
Add an article
The main
show examples
 disadvantage of educating
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 at
home
, is that kid would be socially isolated. School gives not only basic academic
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
This
 place
also
 helps
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
with finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 new friends and
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
 them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social basics. Everybody found new friends at school and
this
 experience helped them to make new acquaintances in the future 
 In conclusion, I believe that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of educating at
home
 outweigh its advantages. House-schooling might save children from humiliation obtained from schoolteachers, but on the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 would be secluded.
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task achievement
You should work on providing more specific examples to fully illustrate your points. For instance, citing a particular study or survey can make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Try to clarify complex ideas more precisely. Enhanced clarity will help convey your thoughts more powerfully and avoid potential misunderstandings.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to your logical transitions and flow between paragraphs. Smooth transitions can make your essay more cohesive and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have chosen a clear stance and provided reasons to support your view, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion adequately summarizes your main arguments, reinforcing your stance.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeschooling
  • Tailored educational approaches
  • One-on-One Attention
  • Safe Learning Environment
  • Cost-Effective
  • Family Bonding
  • Limited Socialization
  • Potential Knowledge Gaps
  • Regulatory Challenges
  • Dependence on Parental Commitment
  • Limited Extracurricular Opportunities
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