In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is obvious that as information technology growing really fast, more and more
custumers
choose online shopping Correct your spelling
customers
instead
of shopping in stores
. That can cause a lot of questions. But it is true that online shopping cannot replacing
shopping in Wrong verb form
replace
stores
, and so that
the Correct word choice
apply
replacing
process is a negative development.
Honestly, those two kind of shopping have their own benefits and drawbacks. Replace the word
replacement
For example
, online shopping can save many time
on roads, finding goods and paying. As our life being
busier, many people, especially those who live in cities, cannot have Wrong verb form
is
such
a long spare time
to go shopping in the mall, unless on weekends. So online shopping might be better when during workdays. Besides
, it is true that goods are usually cheaper online. To save money, more custumers
will choose the cheaper ones.
Correct your spelling
customers
However
, the drawbacks of online shopping will be really easy to tell. Firstly
, we can't ensure the quality and the size of those
things we buy. Like clothes, the Correct determiner usage
the
size
of those are pretty different among various clothes Fix the agreement mistake
sizes
shops
. So that
we need to try Correct word choice
apply
on
to make sure we have Correct pronoun usage
them on
buy
Wrong verb form
bought
the
suitable Correct article usage
a
one
. But if we shop online, we can only guess which will suit us, though finally
we might still get the wrong Add a comma
finally,
one
. Secondly
, although
these pretty things that are bought from websites are cheap, how can we ensure the
safety? Change the word
their
For instance
, food safety is always a great question to discuss. If it is sold online, the ensurerance
cannot be so strong as Correct your spelling
insurance
stores
in real life. Another kind of shopping, in stores
, is a lot different. When those visitors come to a new city and plan to buy something to bring home, those local shops
and malls will be the best choices. Meanwhile, it is enjoyable to walk in the big mall and to see variable goods. When it is Saturday, we can choose to enter a clothes store or just sit in a coffee shop and have a cup of tea to spend our free time
. Besides
those
Change the determiner
that enjoyble one
those enjoyble ones
enjoyble
Correct your spelling
enjoyable
one
, it is really convenient when there's a supermarket near home. We can easily get the freshest fruit, vegetables and meat for meals. That is
really good for our health.
The disadvantages of shopping at stores
can be also
serious. Those activities all takes
Change the verb form
take
time
. It can be hard if the family cannot have any more spare time
to on the way of
those Change preposition
to
shops
, choose what to buy and go home. But the truth is, stores
in real life still have more advantages than those online shops
. There will be no more disadvantages except time
cost.
In a word, it is a negative development that online shopping is replacing shopping in stores
. The significant point is time
. If have enough time
to shop, then
stores
must be the best. But if we really cannot
have more spare Verb problem
do not
time
, just do some online shopping for convenience. Those two kinds of shopping cannot replace any one
of them. Maybe it will be better to ensure those two can exist in
the same Change preposition
at
time
.Submitted by pitaleung8 on
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grammar
Work on sentence structure to improve clarity. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to their complexity or awkward phrasing. For example, 'But if we shop online, we can only guess which will suit us, though finally we might still get the wrong one.' could be rephrased for clarity.
ideas
Expand on examples and explanations to provide more depth to your arguments. While you mentioned some relevant examples, they could be further explained or additional examples provided to strengthen your points.
structure
Improve conclusion by summarizing key points more clearly. The conclusion should reiterate the main arguments discussed in the essay.
content
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the positives and negatives of online shopping versus shopping in stores.
structure
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer's position, which helps to set the stage for the rest of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example