Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most of the
customs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and traditional
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
which
associated
Add a missing verb
are associated

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
with the past can not be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful

If you don’t want usefull to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
modern life and keeping them can be worthless. In my opinion, I strongly agree that eliminating
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun behaviors. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

show examples
traditional
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
is a good idea
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-saving and increasing the rate of
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in doing different activities.
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, leaving many
customs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and traditional ways of behaviours from the past can be a key step to
save
Wrong verb form
saving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb save. Consider changing it.

show examples
a lot of
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. because in the past, Many people had to travel long distances on foot or by horse to reach another city.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Capitalize word
That
show examples
that
Capitalize word
That

The word that should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
is why, they are really
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time-taking
Correct your spelling
time-consuming

The word time-taking doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
for them in order to arrive
Change preposition
at the
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
location. so, on some occasions,they can not arrive on
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they lose that opportunity to do their tasks. so,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

strategy was really boring for the individuals. but these days many people can benefit from different kinds of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles

It seems that vehicle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in order to travel
other
Change preposition
to other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
cities in the best possible form without any tiring and spending lots of
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why,they can do their task on
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, doing a great number of
customs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and traditional ways of
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours

The spelling of behaviors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
related to the past can not be a good idea. because it causes
reduced
Correct article usage
a reduced

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
rate of
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in doing activities. in the past, many individuals wash their clothes by hand.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way, they do not have enough power to clean them.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why, they have to use a large amount of water to clean the
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothes

The word cloth doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
very well
.
Correct your spelling
That

If you don’t want .that to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why,
vast
Add an article
a vast
the vast

The noun phrase vast amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
amount of water for cleaning is not logical. but nowadays, thanks to technology, many people can use different smart tools, like washing machines to clean their clothes with a little water and the best
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. in conclusion, breaking old
customs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and traditional ways of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
can not be a good idea because it can provide many problems,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as spending a lot of
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and decreasing the rate of
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their tasks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
Work on the accuracy of your language use, especially with respect to grammar and vocabulary. Proofread your essay to avoid small mistakes.
task response
Use more specific and varied examples to better illustrate your points.
task response
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and supports the position with relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs with a logical flow of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: