IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

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In
this
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 modern era, youngsters tend to eat junk
food
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instead
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 of a healthy diet.
This
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 essay will explain the causes
such
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 as
time
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 issues and party culture
along with
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 some solutions. To commence with,
people
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 are working whole say and
at the end
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 of the
day
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 they do not have enough
time
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 to cook any
food
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. To explain, many individuals have full-
time
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 jobs In huge organizations, and
due to
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 that they spend the majority of their
time
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 over there.
Moreover
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,
at the end
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 of the
day
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, they are tired and exhausted so, they decide to order
food
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 online
while
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 sitting at their house.
For Instance
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, a survey conducted by The University of California indicates that 75% of Americans who are working full-
time
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 are ordering
food
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 online. To mitigate It,
people
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 need to give little
time
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 to make 3 meal courses at once In a
day
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. Another cause behind
this
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 Is, that youngsters tend to party a lot every
day
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. To elaborate, many
people
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 are exhausted from their work, because they are trying to relax their minds.
In addition
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,
people
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 love to have parties to relax their minds and they eat street
food
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 and outside
food
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 a lot every
day
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. To cite an example, a headline of the
Time
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 of India shows that 87% of the young generation eat outside
food
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while
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 partying. To cope with
this
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, working professionals should focus on their work on weekdays and they should have parties at weekends.
To conclude
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,
while
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 working with big companies
people
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 do not have
time
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 to cook and they are doing celebrations all
day
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 in the week. To overcome
this
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people
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 need to cook whole
day
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food
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 at once and give more attention to their work.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons and solutions for poor eating habits. However, try to develop ideas more fully and explore them in greater depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay could be better organized by linking ideas between paragraphs more smoothly. Consider using more transitional words or phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Examples are relevant but could be more varied. Try to include a wider range of examples to illustrate your points more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and is clearly structured to improve clarity and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, aiding the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives a sense of completeness to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • poor eating habits
  • unhealthy food
  • fast food
  • convenience
  • advertising
  • nutrition
  • financial constraints
  • emotional eating
  • peer pressure
  • hectic work schedules
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • processed food
  • nutrient-rich
  • obesity
  • health consequences
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