In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the percentage of the elderly is steadily going up in many countries in the world. There is no doubt that the benefits of
this
trend are totally for our society because not only expressing
the medical level in these countries but Wrong verb form
does it express
getting
lots of Wrong verb form
also gets
experiences
from older people
to the young.
The medical level is developing every single day at present. Many modern equipment are generated to cure life-threatening illnesses which were not available in the past few decades. For example
, today, people
who get cancer will live longer than in the past through much more sophisticated items of technology. Moreover
, the health care service in every country is also
growing gradually. The elderly will get better caring
or good policies from the government and society. Replace the word
care
For instance
, Japan has the highest life-expectancy
in the world as older Correct your spelling
life expectancy
people
take a lot of carefulness including mental and physical health.
Another key point I think is that the elderly have more living experiences
to teach young people
. It is not denied that the previous generations have lots of knowledge in different fields in life. Therefore
, the young generations can acquire these experiences
to support their life and confront difficulties, some stressful situations and so on. In addition
, old people
are the best listeners, the young can share their struggles and get appeasements. Sometimes all one needs is the feeling of attachment to somebody who might help them and give a proper piece of advice.
In conclusion, the number of older people
which is rising in most parts of the world brings
totally positive effects on society. It proves the improvement of medicine and the diversity of living Verb problem
has
experiences
we have.Submitted by huyentrang712 on
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task achievement
Try to further elaborate on how the increase in the proportion of older people directly correlates with the benefits discussed. For example, link the medical advancements and experiences more explicitly to the positive impacts on society.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a well-organized structure. This will improve the flow of the essay and make your argument more cohesive.
task achievement
You provided a clear response to the task and addressed the question directly by focusing on the benefits of an aging population.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your argument.