In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development

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Nowadays, the percentage of the elderly is steadily going up in many countries in the world. There is no doubt that the benefits of

this

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trend are totally for our society because not only

expressing

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does it express

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the medical level in these countries but

getting

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also gets

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lots of

experiences

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from older

people

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to the young. The medical level is developing every single day at present. Many modern equipment are generated to cure life-threatening illnesses which were not available in the past few decades.

For example

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, today,

people

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who get cancer will live longer than in the past through much more sophisticated items of technology.

Moreover

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, the health care service in every country is

also

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growing gradually. The elderly will get better

caring

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care

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or good policies from the government and society.

For instance

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, Japan has the highest

life-expectancy

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life expectancy

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in the world as older

people

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take a lot of carefulness including mental and physical health. Another key point I think is that the elderly have more living

experiences

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to teach young

people

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. It is not denied that the previous generations have lots of knowledge in different fields in life.

Therefore

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, the young generations can acquire these

experiences

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to support their life and confront difficulties, some stressful situations and so on.

In addition

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, old

people

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are the best listeners, the young can share their struggles and get appeasements. Sometimes all one needs is the feeling of attachment to somebody who might help them and give a proper piece of advice. In conclusion, the number of older

people

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which is rising in most parts of the world

brings

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has

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totally positive effects on society. It proves the improvement of medicine and the diversity of living

experiences

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we have.

Submitted by huyentrang712 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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task achievement

Try to further elaborate on how the increase in the proportion of older people directly correlates with the benefits discussed. For example, link the medical advancements and experiences more explicitly to the positive impacts on society.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a well-organized structure. This will improve the flow of the essay and make your argument more cohesive.

task achievement

You provided a clear response to the task and addressed the question directly by focusing on the benefits of an aging population.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

the procees show cocoa beans and chocolATE MAKING DIAGRAMM

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

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Today many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?