Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss both views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence.
Knowledge and intelligence are the crucial factor
of
every Change preposition
for
person
. Some people
say that individual's
knowledge comes from their parent's Correct article usage
an individual's
genes
while
others think that the surroundings play an important role to
being an intellectual Change preposition
in
persons
. Correct the article-noun agreement
person
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I think environment
is the most accountable for Add an article
the environment
cleverness
.
On the one hand, people
's cleverness
is inherited from their relatives and parents. This
means family genes
help to being
Change the verb form
be
intellectual
Add an article
an intellectual
person
like their family members. For example
, running
Change preposition
in running
the
family business Correct article usage
a
people
usually be
Unnecessary verb
apply
an
intellectual because of their Correct article usage
apply
genes
in order to hold their family business without affecting reputations
. Correct pronoun usage
their reputations
Moreover
, it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
cleverness
can transfer from family members who succeed in family.
On the other hand
, surrounding places and people
can influence to
others to become an Change preposition
apply
intelligence
mankind. Replace the word
intelligent
This
means some people
usually are the
successful Correct article usage
apply
person
and Fix the agreement mistake
people
they
have some kind of Correct pronoun usage
apply
talents
meanwhile they transfer talents and knowledge to others through Fix the agreement mistake
talent
educational
and training. Replace the word
education
For instance
, numerous successful crick
players have Correct your spelling
cricket
own
sports academy for helping Correct pronoun usage
their own
people
to acquire talents through coaching. Hence
, it is prove
that anyone become an intellectual Correct your spelling
proven
persons
with Correct the article-noun agreement
person
a
proper guidance Remove the article
apply
along
with
education.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
Although
cleverness
is transferred from family
gene, so they become a successful Add an article
the family
a family
person
in society, anyone become
an intellectual individual through education and coaching. Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
Therefore
, I think the environment factor is the most responsible to obtain
Change preposition
for obtaining
cleverness
because talent is unique and it does not come from family genes
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea. Also, use connecting phrases to smoothly transition between points.
task achievement
Make sure your examples directly support your main points. For instance, your example about family business could be more explicit in linking inherited intelligence.
task achievement
Work on your conclusion to ensure it clearly summarizes the viewpoints and reiterates your own stance without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines both viewpoints. This sets a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have made a sincere attempt to discuss both views, providing a balanced discussion which is crucial for a task response score.
coherence cohesion
The essay's conclusion reinstates your viewpoint effectively, aligning with the overall discussion presented in the body paragraphs.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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